You have acknowledged the role of genetics, and existence of outliers. Thank you. Let's work with those:You will always get Outliers, some Blacks and some female software developers will be really good.
But they are Outliers, there will be very few of them.
Yes females do have a Genetic disadvantage too when it comes to abstract reasoning.
But females do have a numbers advantage, 170 million females in the US, there will be more Outliers in terms of absolute numbers.
Twice your IQ would still fit comfortably within hers. Probably she will prosper, marry well, and pass her "smart genes" on to her offspring, who will also likely have the benefit of an enriched environment. And so on. Your family won't catch up. Sorry you won't born better or luckier.
By the way, I've read The Bell Curve, and two of Gladwell's books, too. You should read Peak, by Anders Ericsson, if you are genuinely interested in the utility of your IQ argument.