you're taking the first step in the right direction. Trading is a system 2 activity, not a system 1. What this experience tells you is that you need to create space between your trading thesis and trading execution. I would spend some time to focus on developing and refining a legit strategy using a paper portfolio for some time.Yes, you are correct, I use naked charts and trade my "edge" when I see it. But, I don't let it play out because I do not trust my edge and at the same time being afraid to lose. Ofcourse I don't get to think about losing, when I am already losing and just accept as a fact that I will get stopped out. I have manually backtested a strategy in a vehicle which provided positive results (1 year of data/ 1 or 2 trades daily) because I can not mentally handle the stop loss required to utilize it.
Regarding your last sentence, it has been troubling my mind for a long time, that even though I consider myself having spent a lot of time in studying about the markets, it might not have been enough or spent my time in the wrong stuff. But even with more knowledge, the way I handle myself when in a position makes me think I will repeat the same sabotaging behavior.
I am 34 years old.
It will take you a long time to train discipline (stopping yourself from doing something stupid) so creating impediments is key (such as a checklist or make someone else a gatekeeper for trades).