Second account blown and conditioned to lose

A

Anothertrader1

Hello,

this is my first topic here, and sadly, it wont be a good one. I have been trading for the past 2.5 years and apart from a brief success period it has been nothing but struggle. Started with stocks and IBKR, then 1 year ago moved to futures (DAX, NQ, rarely YM) trading via CFD. Started with a very small account which I raised and nearly destroyed several times.

My common behavior was/is : Eat like a bird and shit like an elephant. As soon as I enter a trade, if the trade goes in my favor I will exit my position for merely a few points and so many times see the trades I were in developing into huge winners without me in them ofcourse. But I will always take the full hit in a loss. And this has been going on for so long. And this isnt even the worst part of it. I started revenge trading. If I got stopped out and saw a small retracement in my prior basis I would reenter my position with a new stop loss in place at the next support/resistance area, but also increasing my position size, or add to my position if the trade went in favor for 2 consecutive candles for example. This is clearly a sign of decline instead of improvement.

My first blowup was in November of 2022. I stopped trading for 3 months. I refinanced my account in February and started trading again. And this week, it happened, on Monday I had a moderate draw down day, then on Tuesday, traded the EU session profitably and during the NY session, one small loss started a downward spiral which ended with me obliterating the account.
I feel like I failed my wife and kids completely. I do not follow other people in trading, am not member of any discord or other groups, have read books on psychology ( Trading in the zone, Best loser wins, Trading beyond the matrix etc), none of it worked. A good friend of mine told me, even in the past, "if you can't fix your problems and are constantly afraid of your positions then quit".
But, I don't want to quit. Do I want to continue doing the same mistakes? Ofcourse I don't want to. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.

Is this even achievable or am I simply conditioned to be a permanent net loser? Landing streaks of small winning days and one devastating day. Is there any light in the tunnel? I see that no matter how many books I read, videos I watch, conversations I have, when in the trenches the same mistakes are repeated over, and over.

Thanks for reading, and please, do not be too harsh, I am already more than harsh at myself as is.
 
Hey, sorry about your loss. I think your problem is that you are betting randomly and don't actually have a strategy rooted in evidence. The result is that you're experiencing gambling addiction, which is the opposite of successful/profitable trading.

I recommend you take a step back and spend some time to learn about markets and the sorts of dislocations you think you can build skill in trading.
 
Anothertrader1 said:
Hello,

this is my first topic here, and sadly, it wont be a good one. I have been trading for the past 2.5 years and apart from a brief success period it has been nothing but struggle. Started with stocks and IBKR, then 1 year ago moved to futures (DAX, NQ, rarely YM) trading via CFD. Started with a very small account which I raised and nearly destroyed several times.

My common behavior was/is : Eat like a bird and shit like an elephant. As soon as I enter a trade, if the trade goes in my favor I will exit my position for merely a few points and so many times see the trades I were in developing into huge winners without me in them ofcourse. But I will always take the full hit in a loss. And this has been going on for so long. And this isnt even the worst part of it. I started revenge trading. If I got stopped out and saw a small retracement in my prior basis I would reenter my position with a new stop loss in place at the next support/resistance area, but also increasing my position size, or add to my position if the trade went in favor for 2 consecutive candles for example. This is clearly a sign of decline instead of improvement.

My first blowup was in November of 2022. I stopped trading for 3 months. I refinanced my account in February and started trading again. And this week, it happened, on Monday I had a moderate draw down day, then on Tuesday, traded the EU session profitably and during the NY session, one small loss started a downward spiral which ended with me obliterating the account.
I feel like I failed my wife and kids completely. I do not follow other people in trading, am not member of any discord or other groups, have read books on psychology ( Trading in the zone, Best loser wins, Trading beyond the matrix etc), none of it worked. A good friend of mine told me, even in the past, "if you can't fix your problems and are constantly afraid of your positions then quit".
But, I don't want to quit. Do I want to continue doing the same mistakes? Ofcourse I don't want to. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.

Is this even achievable or am I simply conditioned to be a permanent net loser? Landing streaks of small winning days and one devastating day. Is there any light in the tunnel? I see that no matter how many books I read, videos I watch, conversations I have, when in the trenches the same mistakes are repeated over, and over.

Thanks for reading, and please, do not be too harsh, I am already more than harsh at myself as is.
More...

How old are you?
 
Anothertrader1 said:
Hello,

this is my first topic here, and sadly, it wont be a good one. I have been trading for the past 2.5 years and apart from a brief success period it has been nothing but struggle. Started with stocks and IBKR, then 1 year ago moved to futures (DAX, NQ, rarely YM) trading via CFD. Started with a very small account which I raised and nearly destroyed several times.

My common behavior was/is : Eat like a bird and shit like an elephant. As soon as I enter a trade, if the trade goes in my favor I will exit my position for merely a few points and so many times see the trades I were in developing into huge winners without me in them ofcourse. But I will always take the full hit in a loss. And this has been going on for so long. And this isnt even the worst part of it. I started revenge trading. If I got stopped out and saw a small retracement in my prior basis I would reenter my position with a new stop loss in place at the next support/resistance area, but also increasing my position size, or add to my position if the trade went in favor for 2 consecutive candles for example. This is clearly a sign of decline instead of improvement.

My first blowup was in November of 2022. I stopped trading for 3 months. I refinanced my account in February and started trading again. And this week, it happened, on Monday I had a moderate draw down day, then on Tuesday, traded the EU session profitably and during the NY session, one small loss started a downward spiral which ended with me obliterating the account.
I feel like I failed my wife and kids completely. I do not follow other people in trading, am not member of any discord or other groups, have read books on psychology ( Trading in the zone, Best loser wins, Trading beyond the matrix etc), none of it worked. A good friend of mine told me, even in the past, "if you can't fix your problems and are constantly afraid of your positions then quit".
But, I don't want to quit. Do I want to continue doing the same mistakes? Ofcourse I don't want to. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.

Is this even achievable or am I simply conditioned to be a permanent net loser? Landing streaks of small winning days and one devastating day. Is there any light in the tunnel? I see that no matter how many books I read, videos I watch, conversations I have, when in the trenches the same mistakes are repeated over, and over.

Thanks for reading, and please, do not be too harsh, I am already more than harsh at myself as is.
More...

Good MorningAnothertrader1,

Keep going buddy. Keep on clicking.

I was trading a new strategy this week, I thought would work and blew my account as well today. You can see where NinjaTrader exit the trade for me because cause I was trying to scale in on losing position. Oh well, on to the next one.

You know what I did. Deposit more money, and kept on clicking, try another strategy.

Sorry but, there is no other way to learn to trade besides knowing what works.

And you got TWO options only to make money or learn in trading business.

1. Click Buy and Sell ALL DAY and see what happen after XX-X,XXX,XXX trades.
2. Program and click back test and see what happens testing trading ideas.

I do 1 and 2. Here is my results below so you know I am not bullshitting and telling lies. And here is a trading idea I was working on last night, I programmed by myself and its my own idea. No reading stupid trading books and buying stupid trading courses and listening to scammers and con men on the internet. I do my own stuff and test for myself.

Sorry, but that is the blunt truth. Or go trade in SIM.

Keep going and have fun man.


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So of course making small RR trades can be an issue, or any kind of small short duration trades that have a high transaction overhead vs price movement. You also need to be in the trade long enough to capture the move you set out to capture.

Be aware CFDs are typically more expensive than trading the underlying with a proper broker, making it potentially unsuitable for daytrading. Check what you're paying if you haven't.

@longandshort is basically pointing at the far most likely reason though. What are you really doing to expect a better than random outcome? If you can't explain that (or in case of "TA"/"PA", stats to back it up out of sample rather than ambiguous BS) you will be a net loser.
 
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longandshort said:
Hey, sorry about your loss. I think your problem is that you are betting randomly and don't actually have a strategy rooted in evidence. The result is that you're experiencing gambling addiction, which is the opposite of successful/profitable trading.

I recommend you take a step back and spend some time to learn about markets and the sorts of dislocations you think you can build skill in trading.
More...
Yes, you are correct, I use naked charts and trade my "edge" when I see it. But, I don't let it play out because I do not trust my edge and at the same time being afraid to lose. Ofcourse I don't get to think about losing, when I am already losing and just accept as a fact that I will get stopped out. I have manually backtested a strategy in a vehicle which provided positive results (1 year of data/ 1 or 2 trades daily) because I can not mentally handle the stop loss required to utilize it.
Regarding your last sentence, it has been troubling my mind for a long time, that even though I consider myself having spent a lot of time in studying about the markets, it might not have been enough or spent my time in the wrong stuff. But even with more knowledge, the way I handle myself when in a position makes me think I will repeat the same sabotaging behavior.
hilmy83 said:
How old are you?
More...
I am 34 years old.
 
A lot of stock traders come into the stockmarket, dream of making millions but, do not do what is needed to succeed. You need knowledge of the risks involved (risk management), a record of your trades (trading log), adequate capital, maybe $3,000-$5,000 to start, to develop a trading plan and a trading system, that has been backtested and shows a mathematical edge. Gambling in Las Vegas is negative expectation. The stockmarket could be positive expectation for you if you know what you are doing. Keep losses small and winners need to be several multiples of your losers to overcome the small losses and put you in the black. Discipline is paramount and check your ego and arrogance at the door. Egotistical and arrogant people will never make it in the stockmarket because they cannot accept the fact, that they can be wrong. You are going to be wrong multiple times and incur numerous losses in the process. That is normal. You will also, make monies and lots of it when you are right. That is assuming you have a trading system with an edge.
 
Anothertrader1 said:
But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.
More...
This is the inner conversation that helped me, when i was breaking my own rules due undisciplined behavior :
,,Either you stop doing stupid sh**, or you're destined to be a loser"

It helped me, it might help you. Try to realize that the first step in any endeavor is mastering thy-self-behavior.
Work with it. Don't let the fool in you to take the higher ground. It's kind like quitting smoking or any other addiction.
Eventually, you won't even think about doing something against your rules.

Then, master the craft itself. Go back to demo's simulations. Triple the account, with at least 100 traders and at least 50 different names, in at least 24 months.
Until it happens, look at your largest losers. Largest winners. Analyze them. Any patterns ?

Until that happens, do not touch the markets. Keep saving or put it into Vanguard global ETF's, so when you're ready, you got fresh capital at the hand. And forget about CFD's.
 
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