Ok, let me clarify. It may not be fraud in a legal sense. Depends on the exact agreement ( specifically the client risk parameters ) and local civil/contract law at the time. My point is some aspect of recklessness of the fund manager and/or non adherence to expected risk parameters occurred, and all the money was lost. If it was just a failed business deal, I doubt a friendship ends completely; some element of trust was broken.
Marketsurfer's confession
- Thread starter marketsurfer
- Start date
Ok, let me clarify. It may not be fraud in a legal sense. Depends on the exact agreement ( specifically the client risk parameters ) and local civil/contract law at the time. My point is some aspect of recklessness of the fund manager and/or non adherence to expected risk parameters occurred, and all the money was lost. If it was just a failed business deal, I doubt a friendship ends completely; some element of trust was broken.
What an angry and astoundingly ignorant a((clown--- thanks for the support, dealmaker!
surf
Pay no attention to Nine_Ender, MS. His purpose is to seek out conflict where there is none, to find the insult in the most trivial of commentary, and to call everyone racist when no other label can be applied.
It is obvious this event changed you (seemingly for the better). Sometimes, as shallow as it sounds, events have no other purpose than to do just that. The Japanese have an expression: "Tantai". All Things in Time.
It is obvious this event changed you (seemingly for the better). Sometimes, as shallow as it sounds, events have no other purpose than to do just that. The Japanese have an expression: "Tantai". All Things in Time.
Thanks,Tsing Tao. I should have guessed there is something deeply wrong with that poster.
surf
Baron
ET Founder
No. Your thinking isn't straight on this. You're trying to re-engineer the past based upon an outcome that you know now, but you didn't know back then. You can't do that and here's why. Had you took her money and you doubled it for her and her family within a year or two, you'd feel like a genius today. This thread wouldn't even exist. But because you had an unexpected outcome that created some trauma, you're now living with periodic regret and guilt, despite the fact that your intention at the time was certainly not to lose her money, your money, or anyone else's money.
When you say things like, “I” could have done something about that situation, or “I” knew better, then that’s just your ego talking and ego absolutely loves guilt. They are best friends. Your ego wants you to believe so bad that you were such an awesome and amazing person that you could have prevented that tragedy if you had just taken that call. But you can't let your ego control your thoughts, because if you do, you'll start believing those thoughts are true, and when you believe them to be true and real, they have power over you.
Never forget that a thought about the past, whether bad or good, is just a thought. It's not relevant to today. The essence of who you are doesn't lie in the past.
The only thing that you ever truly have is "now", and it's the now that's worth thinking about more than anything. That's why my suggestion was to write down some things you're thankful for today. It helps pull you out of the regrets of the past and refocuses you on living in the moment.
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Keeping a journal also works. It's done wonders for those suffering PTSD. People always associate PTSD to the military personnel, and they're a large share of it. But all it really means is that you have suffered a traumatic event in your life, and it continues to affect you. Writing a journal is a proven therapy for PTSD sufferers.
Baron puts it perfectly. Damn ego gives you the idea you have control over what you don't. We are not all powerful, and while there are always things we may wish were different there is no guarantee our input would have changed the awful outcome.
I kicked the crap out of myself thinking I should have saved my parents lives, and cured my wife's medical problems and been a better parent, etc. So I took the logical route and went on a 2 year drinking bender. All I did was make myself feel even more worthless, lose a lot of respect, and dig deep holes with people.(including here at ET) I ended up paying for the advice your are getting from some of the good people here.
Tsing Tao has a great idea journaling. I do it to this day to keep my head on straight. I have a list of blessings I review in the morning and accept I'm not all knowing.
I hope your posting your story is a start for you to feel better about yourself.
Peace
Bob
I kicked the crap out of myself thinking I should have saved my parents lives, and cured my wife's medical problems and been a better parent, etc. So I took the logical route and went on a 2 year drinking bender. All I did was make myself feel even more worthless, lose a lot of respect, and dig deep holes with people.(including here at ET) I ended up paying for the advice your are getting from some of the good people here.
Tsing Tao has a great idea journaling. I do it to this day to keep my head on straight. I have a list of blessings I review in the morning and accept I'm not all knowing.
I hope your posting your story is a start for you to feel better about yourself.
Peace
Bob
You have to let it go somehow and I think dealing with it here is a good step towards your catharsis.
For most its some form of offering up to a higher power via confession. repent...(sin no more like that) and then feel forgiven so you can move on.
Catholics have a truly wonderful experience in confession. It can be amazingly cathartic if you really confess and repent, as is turn away from (the) sin .
Recently I learned more about the 12 steps that AA advocates. I have seen a person working (it takes work to do it right) through the steps including taking mental stock of everything they felt guilty about and worked it with their sponsor ( a very caring person) via that step program. I have seen an absolutely amazing transformation take place in part because of that program. I see happiness I have not seen that person show for over a decade. It brings joy to my life to see it.
So, I would highly consider something like that if this is haunting you as much as I know it would haunt me.
For most its some form of offering up to a higher power via confession. repent...(sin no more like that) and then feel forgiven so you can move on.
Catholics have a truly wonderful experience in confession. It can be amazingly cathartic if you really confess and repent, as is turn away from (the) sin .
Recently I learned more about the 12 steps that AA advocates. I have seen a person working (it takes work to do it right) through the steps including taking mental stock of everything they felt guilty about and worked it with their sponsor ( a very caring person) via that step program. I have seen an absolutely amazing transformation take place in part because of that program. I see happiness I have not seen that person show for over a decade. It brings joy to my life to see it.
So, I would highly consider something like that if this is haunting you as much as I know it would haunt me.
It's not hard to understand why your friend cut off communications then, after all, you considered her to be the "psychotic artistic" type and it must have been her fault for believing in your financial judgement. Right ? And you couldn't talk to her later on because of the "crap" she'd say about your business deal ? You did admit those things did you not ?
I didn't blame you for her death. However, if you are going to respond to my valid points in this reckless and personal way, I just may question your ethics and morality in a much deeper fashion. Is this really what you want ? If you are blameless, you would have no guilt at all.
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Thanks Baron. This is very accurate. surf