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Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please stop at the store on your way home and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 12!"
A short time later the husband comes back with 12 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 12 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
A short time later the husband comes back with 12 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 12 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
Quote from nutmeg:
C. Nutmeg on Shakespeare
Friends, Romans, countryman, lend me your Quantitive Easing.
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever.
One foot in flash crash, and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Oh beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The bull market it feeds on.
There are more things in heaven and G -20, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts! Unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top full
Of direst inflation.
Asset Swap, asset swap! Parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say asset swap till it be morrow.
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A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe , the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but comfortable, compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain..
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe ."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain, "This is the Staten Island Ferry.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe , the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but comfortable, compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain..
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe ."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain, "This is the Staten Island Ferry.