Jokes 2

A blonde walks into an electronics store and says "I'd like to purchase that TV please".

The sales associate looks at her and says "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".

Furious, the blonde goes home and dies her hair red that night and shows back up to the store the next day.

She finds the same employee and tells him, "I'd like to purchase that TV please".

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes".

Looking astonished, she says "How did you know I'm a blonde?".

He then replies, "Lady, it's not a TV, it's a microwave."
 
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Meanwhile...back at the ranch.


..... most lenders sold their mortgages to Fannie Mae, it is largely that company that has been sending e-mails to real estate agents about putting off deals and removing houses from the market......

Sigh, another headline that's not funny...but it is funny.....
 
Quote from fhl:

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...

..so I said "Implants?"
More...

That will get you a smile.

"Can't afford implants?" will get you smacked!

I know a guy who is so rude he actually says to small breasted women "Who stole your tits?"

I happen to enjoy small breasts very much. The big ones go south too quick.
 
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It's a quiet afternoon at the Vatican and the Pope decides to do a crossword. After a while, he looks puzzled.

"Can you think of a four letter word for a woman ending in 'u-n-t'?" he asks ones of his cardinals.

"Hmm, that would be 'aunt'," the cardinal replies.

"Oh, of course," says the Pope: "Can I borrow your eraser?"
 
Short story, I really don't like to get personal but just this once.

I was born on 5/5/1955, and my lucky number is 5.

On my birthday in 2005, I went to the track, a horse was running named Pentagon racing in the 5th race at 5:55, with the odds of 55-1.

I had $555.00 with me and I bet it all on Pentagon to win.

Pentagon, obviously, came in fifth.
 
When my girlfriend had her baby (a boy), I asked her what she wanted to call him.

She said, "Steve."

I said, "But that's your ex-boyfriends' name."

She replied, "Yeah. He was the first guy that came into my head."
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Short story, I really don't like to get personal but just this once.

I was born on 5/5/1955, and my lucky number is 5.

On my birthday in 2005, I went to the track, a horse was running named Pentagon racing in the 5th race at 5:55, with the odds of 55-1.

I had $555.00 with me and I bet it all on Pentagon to win.

Pentagon, obviously, came in fifth.
More...

lol
 
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