Jokes 2

We interrupt this joke forum for a special news broadcast.

Two of the biggest rallies of more than 40 percent occurred during the Great Depression...

People were sucked in and ultimately were destroyed....

One rally sounds like the tech bubble and the other sounds like the real estate bubble, perhaps we've been living in one gd long Depression since before 2000.

I think I'll send bernanke a link to the joke forum since he's the expert and see what he thinks.
 
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking them, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. But finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

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Crap jokes like this is why the Reader's Digest filed Bk.
 
Imagine laying down a cc at Bloomies with Ben's name on it.

"Gees Ben didn't recognize you without the beard.":D :D :D



"I'm from the Fed and here to max out my card. What's on sale?"
 
A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving.

The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."

"Great idea," the drunk replies. "Tits!"
 
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?

California became a state.

The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today except the women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.
 
After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:
370HSSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Joe Biden. Biden and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.

Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."
 
A Texas Tech graduate, a University of Texas grad and a Texas Aggie were sitting in a bar in San Antonio. The view of the river was fantastic, the beer was ice cold and the food exceptional.

"But," said the guy from Tech, "I still prefer the beer joints back in Lubbock. There's one place where the owner goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy 4 beers, he will buy the 5th."

The Longhorn said "Well, at my local bar in Austin, the owner will buy your 3rd drink after you've bought 2."

"Hell, that's nothin'," the Aggie responded. "Back in College Station there's this bar where the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink and keep them coming all night. Then when you've had enough to drink, they take you upstairs and see that you get laid. And it's all on the house."

The Red Raider and the Longhorn immediately doubted the Aggie's claims. "And this actually happened to you?" asked the Tech grad.

No, not myself personally," admitted the Aggie. "But it did happen to my sister."
 
I found a web site to enter a poetry contest to win money
so I sent in this poem.

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac,
with huge boobs and a nice ass,
who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme,
and I don't give a shit.

The End
 
Quote from nutmeg:

We interrupt this joke forum for a special news broadcast.

Two of the biggest rallies of more than 40 percent occurred during the Great Depression...

People were sucked in and ultimately were destroyed....

One rally sounds like the tech bubble and the other sounds like the real estate bubble, perhaps we've been living in one gd long Depression since before 2000.

I think I'll send bernanke a link to the joke forum since he's the expert and see what he thinks.
More...

Just in! Bearded one on floor, rolling around, holding stomach.

Not laughing.
 
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