Chuck Norris Trading Facts

[Optionspoet]

The equity markets close at 4pm. Whatever activity you see after hours is strictly for Chuck Norris purposes.

He likes to trade alone.

 

[stock_trad3r]

Quote from Optionspoet:

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

rofl

 

[circadian]

Chucks trading strategy is 50% short, 50% long, and 100% deadly.

 

[Optionspoet]

Chuck Norris sent the following items to the IRS in 1977:

- A picture of himself.
- A blank 1040 form with his name on the top and "FUCK YOU" scribbled in blood across the front.

He has never heard from the IRS again.

 

[Optionspoet]

Chuck Norris had insider information on one of his trades. The SEC had the audacity to make a phone call to question the trade.

The conversation went something like this:

SEC: Mr Norris, We are calling in rega.....

then dead silence.

Chuck Norris had reached through the phone and choked the SEC investigator to death.

 

[circadian]

35 years ago, chuck norris threw a single punch that killed the following:

1. Communism
2. Polio
3. Hippies
4. Scurvy

 

[eagle]

Lesson learned, you must not call him on his cellphone since he can secretly move to approach you while talking. So always call him on his landline.

Quote from Optionspoet:

Chuck Norris had insider information on one of his trades. The SEC had the audacity to make a phone call to question the trade.

The conversation went something like this:

SEC: Mr Norris, We are calling in rega.....

then dead silence.

Chuck Norris had reached through the phone and choked the SEC investigator to death.

 

[Nanook]

Chuck Norris has a P&P statement.

 

[Banff01]

Chuck Norris does not watch the market, the market watches him.

 

[Nanook]

Global warming has been found to be caused by Chuck Norris doing pushups, which is spiraling the earth closer to the sun.