Chuck Norris Trading Facts

MandelbrotSet · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris doesn't use multiple strategies.

There is only one strategy ... his.

kmanas · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris does not buy, ne owns!

nutmeg · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris masturbates to Timmays pennystocking DVD.

eagle · May 20, 2008

Actually, Chuck Norris doesn't need to scratch his head, he made so much money by just trading upon ET tips.

kmanas · May 20, 2008

There is only one profitable way to trade - Chuck's way!

Yours truly · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris is the ballsiest trader ever.

In fact, each of his testicles is larger than the other one.

ers811 · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris was notorious for his Viscious Wild Ass Punch trades. Thus VWAP execution was born.

The tech bubble burst when Chuck Norris disovered that Bill Gates had referred to HIM as "Mr. Softee".

kmanas · May 20, 2008

There is only one button on Chuck's trading terminal - take profit!

ers811 · May 20, 2008

Chuck Norris doesn't shop at a grocery store -- he takes delivery of commodity futures. Limits are imposed because of his appetite, and his appetite alone.

When Chuck Norris takes a dump, the VIX jumps several points.

He then wipes his ass with certifictes of IP stock.

Yours truly · May 20, 2008

It can now be revealed.

Blue horseshoe is...Chuck Norris.