Yukoner's 2015 Psychological Journal

[Handle123]

There is nothing I would disagree here. Honesty -- an absolute foundation!

Please allow me to give you an example of what I find in your analysis that I don't find very often even in very accomplished traders who write here. I don't mean this as a way of offending other accomplished traders here in ET, but as an example of why I enjoy reading your analysis. This is a counter-example to make my point:

Take Handle123's post here today: He commends Yukoner for doing a great job of not looking at PnL; He also commends Yukoner for pulling out of the hole he was in.

In my analysis, these two points are not compatible: If we ask someone not to be concerned about PnL then, we should not commend them for pulling out of the hole. But, the truth is that we are concerned about PnL, and pulling out of the hole is important. So, this disconnect can be only addressed if one acknowledges that PnL is important to consider. But the question is when does one consider PnL? We are all in agreement that PnL should not be looked at during a trade; so, it follows that PnL has to be looked at after the trade is over. However, one cannot wait for post-market analysis to view PnL for one has to be concerned about daily loss limits. This was precisely Yukoner's concern and issue (although not framed this way).

In many of your analysis, I don't find these types of inconsistencies, and hence my respect for your opinion over other successful traders.

To Handle123: I sincerely apologize calling your post out. Every post of yours tells me that you are a very successful trader. I do not mean to undermine you in anyway, but was just making an analysis of your argument. If I have over-stepped my boundary, I am sincerely sorry. Tell me so, and I will delete this post.

Regards,
Monoid.

You know what is the greatest thing about getting older? You just don't give a shit what anyone says about you whether good or bad, I am closer to end of life than the beginning, you look at life differently, so don't apologize to me ever. You have an opinion, give it.

But I disagree in your assessment of "these two points are not compatible", if you have read from " Yukoner" beginnings, getting to breakeven on the day is a change in his rules, has nothing to do with making money, it is a rule of stop trading cause of breakeven. In his past he would continue to trade and get close to $1000 loss days after coming back from down on the day. I never said to not keep a running total of losing trades. Yes one might think I am talking about money, but I am not. I am talking about putting on the trades with no regard of P/L and other is not overtrading. Humans don't do well on prolonged stresses, we tire easier. If he had continued and ended on the day with bigger profit, I would have said that wasn't a good play, Yukoner has times of being up well twice and ended three times in hole. If you up well, need to place money stop on account or trade less lots so your base grows each day.

When you get to the point of not losing most days, accounts go up not matter how much you made.

 

[Handle123]

Day #26 (Baby Step #7) Fell asleep last night with a bit of vertigo, and throughout the night I struggled with that. Woke up this morning, and still felt some vertigo, but not as bad as I had during the night. (Don't know if I am getting sick or what) Told myself that if I was qualified to trade today, then I really needed to be aware of this and if it becomes an issue, then call it a day.

Yesterday there was all sorts of reasons (or temptations) not to trade today. Things like my X being over at my house visiting our kids, my girlfriend inviting me to spend the night at her place, a feeling that I might blow it today... So I have to say, I dug in my heels a bit, and told myself that Tuesday I was going to trade. That all these other distractions were not going to sway me... that I wanted to keep this momentum going. (My girlfriend was totally cool with this.) I just didn't want to have a day not taking these baby steps... because I can feel the change... I can feel what the training is doing to me.

So the day started, and I have to say that even though I didn't feel 100% on my game, it actually felt like it wasn't that big of a deal... just do what I was supposed to do... and to hell with the results. I don't want to say it was easy, because it wasn't... but it was calmer. I took the trades... and in writing down the checkmarks, next to that I wrote in how many ticks I contributed or withdrew. This made it a bit harder not to trade P&L, but I need some type of method to know when to stop at my daily loss limit.

Then I got a great signal, and it was a no brainer trade. I put the trade on, stop in the right location and sat back in my chair to let it play out. I kind of stretched, and tilted my head back over the chair... and suddenly the room went vertigo and started swirling all around! Dizzy. Shesh, I lean forward... dizziness stops... I immediately close out my trade contributing 1 tick (It shortly went to profit target 30 ticks higher) and I got up and walked around a bit and then went and laid down for a while.

After that experience I was pretty much done trading for the day. But a bit later on I actually started to feel myself again... ate some more food.. drank some water. So when I look at the charts again, I see another trade close to setting up. Now I wanted to take that trade... and it was like I could hear @Handle123 reminding me of being greedy (I think he used the words piggie wiggie in the post a few weeks ago) and I asked myself, was I being greedy? No, this was just the correct trade to take... regardless of how I was feeling. So I took it, and it went right to profit target. Checkmark.

So one more time I evaluate myself, and I decide that if I was my coach, I would be telling me to call it a day... Don't push it... Finish it with a winning trade. So that is exactly what I did.

+190

Liked what you said "Finish it with a winning trade", doesn't talk about money, you talk trade. We just keep making wiggets, same way each day, same way, do the rules, if you get past your goal, have idea in how many losing trades and you quit, keep account growing, when you trade OPM, it is all about consistency, clients go fricking insane on wild daily statements. They don't like heart attack days, they like growing something most days. No excitement, this is a job, do the time, whatever the Trading Plan ends up, it end up with the money, not you. It is a like Fred Flintstone at the quarry, you just keep doing same till whistle blows. Yabba Dabba Do.

 

[Redneck]

Taking tomorrow off, and possibly Friday.

I would much prefer to slow down than take steps backward.

Have to say though, a lot is changing in my head for the better when I now call a positive ticks day a failed day due to improper trading behaviour.

In the past, I wouldn't have even considered this...

Today's a down day

Not an off day..., nor a day off

But a down day - to re-energize..., re-group..., collect up thoughts & pieces..., re-assemble...,re-focus..., re-commit..., prepare

Days like this are as..., if not more..., valuable - than days actually trading

Use it wisely Sir

RN

 

[Yukoner]

Reflection on Day #27

It is always surprising what 24 hours does for you when considering a trading day, so this morning I go back and read yesterday's journal and indentify several things:

Mistakes in sequence:

1. Didn't take a trade
2. Didn't believe in my methodology
3. Let a possible loss concern me
4. Didn't check mark, twice in a row after EIA report
5. Took a trade that wasn't part of my methodology
6. Continued to trade, even after seeing I had reverted to old behavior (impulse trade, no check marks)
7. Entered a trade like I was supposed to... But then again, let fear of loss emotionally high jack me... And closed it with 4 tick loss. (Also, not qualifying for a check mark)
8. Entered trade again, at a worst location, and this time my edge was gone... And in theory my risk was larger.

Now things I did well:

1. Pre-market awareness of what I was feeling
2. Caught myself not check marking. Sub-conscious went to automatically checkmark on planned trade and that is when I realized I hadn't checkmarked the previous two.
3. Considered if I should stop
4. Took a break and stopped trading
5. Came back to desk, saw market setting up, and was able to indentify potential.
6. Realization that I had emotionally closed a trade
7. Stopped again... Did an evaluation of my behavior... And shut down for the day.

That last one, #7 is probably one of the best things I could have done yesterday. In the past, I probably would have tried to continue on, and power through, and fight.... And hey, there is some profit for the day... Risk some of it, etc. Obviously then compounding errors.
So happy I stopped trading then, that was without a doubt the correct thing to do.

 

[Redneck]

In the past, I probably would have tried to continue on, and power through, and fight....

Obviously then compounding errors.

So happy I stopped trading then, that was without a doubt the correct thing to do.

With regard to trading; the only thing we ever will fight...., the only thing we will ever (attempt) to power through - is our self

And being we are facing an equally matched opponent

We will never win..., the best to hope for is a draw - which will never suffice if we are to be a trader

Make friends with your other - accept him..., have conversations..., listen to him..., invite him in on your decision making

Which today.., you are


He needs to be heard..., understood..., acknowledged - else he'll only scream louder.., and more often - and undermine you at every opportunity

Amazing how much influence that little bastard has



But.., once he is your friend;

Amazing how much influence that little bastard has - for the benefit of you both

Go figure

RN

 

[Handle123]

Reflection on Day #27

It is always surprising what 24 hours does for you when considering a trading day, so this morning I go back and read yesterday's journal and indentify several things:

Mistakes in sequence:

1. Didn't take a trade
2. Didn't believe in my methodology
3. Let a possible loss concern me
4. Didn't check mark, twice in a row after EIA report
5. Took a trade that wasn't part of my methodology
6. Continued to trade, even after seeing I had reverted to old behavior (impulse trade, no check marks)
7. Entered a trade like I was supposed to... But then again, let fear of loss emotionally high jack me... And closed it with 4 tick loss. (Also, not qualifying for a check mark)
8. Entered trade again, at a worst location, and this time my edge was gone... And in theory my risk was larger.

Now things I did well:

1. Pre-market awareness of what I was feeling
2. Caught myself not check marking. Sub-conscious went to automatically checkmark on planned trade and that is when I realized I hadn't checkmarked the previous two.
3. Considered if I should stop
4. Took a break and stopped trading
5. Came back to desk, saw market setting up, and was able to indentify potential.
6. Realization that I had emotionally closed a trade
7. Stopped again... Did an evaluation of my behavior... And shut down for the day.

That last one, #7 is probably one of the best things I could have done yesterday. In the past, I probably would have tried to continue on, and power through, and fight.... And hey, there is some profit for the day... Risk some of it, etc. Obviously then compounding errors.
So happy I stopped trading then, that was without a doubt the correct thing to do.

We all want to say we trade perfect each day, but that is something we strive to do. Like today, woke up took handful of meds, dropped one and fell forward too far and hit my head on dresser drawer, well great, stubbed my toe to boot, hobbled to bathroom bleeding with a limp, got repaired but now all I can think about is the throbbing headache I have, 30 minutes till trading time, I have to get my act together, this is what I get when I sleep in late, I am out of routine. Forgot to get coffee going before bathroom, now I have wait, I detest waiting, I am pissed at myself, fuck burned my hand with coffee, this going to be a great F ing day, 20 minutes till time to work, walking in house, got to wake up and get into game face, 10 minutes till "Quarry time", go to office, flip on laptops-all programmed to get to platforms, read if any reports I am not aware of coming out, moment of meditation calmness slips over my entire self, can hear my heart beating, I am ready to steal every last nickel from the newbies. Trading bell, let's do it!!!

Routines are the best, you get to some point, you naturally just do them without thinking BUT it is easy to get thrown off and that's when errors snowball, until you can stop yourself from what you THINK is going forward, you are stepping backwards. And this takes time, won't happen overnite, but so long as you aware you can stop and world not going to cave in, you can continue when you have more harmony.

And how dare you to think "Didn't believe in my methodology", that's not your job, your job is to perform, to trade, let the other guy who is there after trading hours check out the methodology. You there to make trades otherwise you might get fired and where else you going to make bucks to buy guns, porn and rock n roll baby.

Don't over think, relax, go to the zoo, study the monkeys, their day is to eat, pick and throw, their routine.

You doing much better than two weeks ago, but don't mess it up, tomorrow a new day, what are you going to make for us that day?

 

[monoid]

@Yukoner

1. Didn't take a trade
   
2. Didn't believe in my methodology -- addressed by Handle123
   
3. Let a possible loss concern me -- on going issue that you have identified and are working on.
   
4. Didn't check mark, twice in a row after EIA report
5. Took a trade that wasn't part of my methodology -- Really Yukoner? Really? This alone should have made you stop for the day (or two) and think about your mental control.
6. Continued to trade, even after seeing I had reverted to old behavior (impulse trade, no check marks) -- don't know what more to say!
7. Entered a trade like I was supposed to... But then again, let fear of loss emotionally high jack me... And closed it with 4 tick loss. (Also, not qualifying for a check mark)
8. Entered trade again, at a worst location, and this time my edge was gone... And in theory my risk was larger -- i.e. chasing price. To me, this is also the same as #5.

"Miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep"

Rooting for you. All the best.

Regards,
Monoid.

 

[Redneck]

Yukoner

Not sure if today a down day..., or a trading day


Regardless - make it count

RN

 

[Handle123]

I normally trade ES and crude oil in mornings, 75 to 90 minutes of ES and few hours of crude oil. Today was no picnic as usually in ES, Fridays can be tough. Well, am use to Crude not acting like today, and only use 3 different patterns to trade it, so when not much follow through for trend trades, I will use counter trend failures, risk is tight of 10 ticks and can go to better than break even on trades much quicker.

Now here is the thing, I picture myself everyday I am in Vegas at a video poker machine. The big prize is 4800 to one on royal flush, I have a friend who is prof gambler and she just does video poker, she will lose thousands of time as she averages 500 hands an hour, some losing days and some winning days, when she scores royal flush it is over 100k day. So I picture myself at a machine, I am just there to push buttons, I am automatic when it comes to what to do, at least try real hard. Today is no different, I do my job, whether win/lose/BE, I do my job and good things will happen. I don't wonder if method stop working, that is not my job, my job is to perform like a clown at a zoo giving out ballons and do same things each trade to make something, and I don't know how much, not my concern, stick to the rules.

Enjoy and have great weekend.
Handle

 

[Yukoner]

Day #28 (Baby Step #9) - Took a break yesterday, and reflected a lot on what had happened and also on what other traders have been mentioning. Realized that I won't ever be a perfect trader, but I can strive for that... and again, I need to be comfortable with just doing my job.

Then I faced an interesting dilemma, all though small, as of Day #27 I was barely profitable for the whole month. The first two trading days of February absolutely sucked and I was in the hole -1274 at the end of Day #2 and who knows how much mental capital was depleted. So if I didn't trade Friday, I would have a profitable month... a whole $6. :eek:

I asked myself, what would be the purpose of not trading Friday? How would that help me become a better trader? Then I read @Handle123 post where he said... "tomorrow a new day, what are you going to make for us that day?" I realized that I needed to step up, and go do my job, and to hell with the results.

So my focus today was to do my job. It was a tough trading day early on, rangebound, and no real follow through, but I stuck with my plan. Checkmark. Checkmark. I had one trade that I debated if I really deserved the checkmark, but I had done the correct action.

Then later in the day, I was a bit ahead for the day, and there was another trade to take... tempted not to take it, as I was focused now on just having a profitable day... but that wasn't my job, my job was to take the freakin trade. So I did... and it contributed ticks... and now I am down for the day. And man, I felt this wave of emotion hit me... like I needed to revenge trade and get it back. - Pause, now... breath. Hadn't felt that all day.

So a bit later I get another setup, and I get in, and again that emotion really hits me. It was like it was yelling at me that I would lose, the trade wouldn't work, and my hand was hovering over the mouse ready to close it... and I stop, and tell myself to leave it alone... do what you are supposed to do. Stick with the plan!! So I did... and covered it above and beyond the profit zone I was expecting. I do have a rough idea why this emotion kicked in, and will work on that.

After that, decided it is best to call it quits for the day with a winning trade. I walked into the arena of uncertainty... I did my job... I traded well in spite of an emotional highjack. I am very pleased that when that happened, I managed to still just do my job. And secondly, I took an inventory of myself, and I just couldn't stay in that 85% or greater focused mindset. So it was time to call it a day...

Hello sweet weekend!

+133