Yukoner's 2015 Psychological Journal
- Thread starter Yukoner
- Start date
@Buy1Sell2 Think of it like this, I am forward testing my human mind on how it performs in today's markets. I am making some adjustments, some parts I have to set aside, and other parts I have to strengthen.
The best analogy I can give to what I am doing here, is that of a football player trying out for an NFL team. He is put onto the field, plays against other pro players, and is consistently evaluated based on his performance that day. Is it any less real for that player, because he isn't actually in an NFL game? On the contrary, it is very much real because he knows that if he sticks to the training and listens to the coaches and stays as an elite performer then he will have his opportunity in the NFL.
Secondly, when he steps onto that NFL football field he is more than prepared. He will react exactly like his training has prepared him to... because over, and over, and over he drilled into his muscle memory the correct play. He knows exactly what his job is, and he steps out there to do it.
A great example of this, was this year's Super Bowl, when rookie receiver Chris Matthews of the Seahawks caught his very first NFL touchdown ever... in Super Bowl XLIX! How the heck did that happen, the guy had NEVER ever made a touchdown before in the NFL? And now he gets his first touchdown in the Super Bowl!
So for myself, this is what I am doing, I am building myself into the best trader I can be today. Soon I will be stepping onto the field and trading OPM, and when that moment comes all the training and preparation and mentoring will pay off. In times of stress, my brain will react exactly to what it has been trained to do... and then I will just do my job.
For Chris Matthews, you might have said... "I have seen no actual touchdowns at all in this life. How would one know if one was improving or not?" One knows, because one has trained over and over and over again... until they can run the play perfectly!
Day #27 (Baby Step #8) - Slept like a rock, the doctor prescribed gravol for the vertigo, and that really helped. Woke up early, and overall felt pretty good. Pre-market prep I did have a bit of fear of failure creep in, but that was based on "losing" trades, so I paused... and consider the only way I could truly have a losing day was if I broke my rules, and didn't do my job and that was entirely in my control.
Started the day off okay, and did a couple of trades, but then I struggled a bit with taking the next trade... even though it was exactly what I was supposed to do. Part of it was the reports coming out today, and Yellen speaking, but bottom line is I just didn't believe... and I was also letting the P&L concern me. Taught me a good lesson though, as I had to sit there and watch the market go way past my profit target... and I wasn't in.
Then after the report came out, I went in to trade as per my plan... and on the third trade I go to write down my checkmark, and realize I was so focused on the market that I completely didn't write down checkmarks and ticks on the previous two trades. I really didn't like that! So then I sat there, and considered those trades, and if they had fit with my plan... and yea, the second one didn't.
At this point, I really considered shutting it down for the day. So I took a break. Got away from the computer, and just tried to get back to stable so I could do my job. Came back again, and I could see the market well and what to do, but I was just really gunshy. I put on a trade, just like my plan said to, then emotionally closed it out contributing 4 ticks only to see it start to go to target. However, once I realized the mistake I made, I got back in and rode the trade to target.
So again, I do an evaluation of myself, and I really don't like what I see in that evaluation. I was seeing the setups, but I was hesitating taking them. Then I had missed two checkmarks. At this point, I am concerned about the direction the day was heading... not with trades... but with my behavior. Therefore, time to shut it down.
This was a really strong day for my trading methodology, had I personally performed better, it would have paid off well. I just really got in the way...
+300
Started the day off okay, and did a couple of trades, but then I struggled a bit with taking the next trade... even though it was exactly what I was supposed to do. Part of it was the reports coming out today, and Yellen speaking, but bottom line is I just didn't believe... and I was also letting the P&L concern me. Taught me a good lesson though, as I had to sit there and watch the market go way past my profit target... and I wasn't in.
Then after the report came out, I went in to trade as per my plan... and on the third trade I go to write down my checkmark, and realize I was so focused on the market that I completely didn't write down checkmarks and ticks on the previous two trades. I really didn't like that! So then I sat there, and considered those trades, and if they had fit with my plan... and yea, the second one didn't.
At this point, I really considered shutting it down for the day. So I took a break. Got away from the computer, and just tried to get back to stable so I could do my job. Came back again, and I could see the market well and what to do, but I was just really gunshy. I put on a trade, just like my plan said to, then emotionally closed it out contributing 4 ticks only to see it start to go to target. However, once I realized the mistake I made, I got back in and rode the trade to target.
So again, I do an evaluation of myself, and I really don't like what I see in that evaluation. I was seeing the setups, but I was hesitating taking them. Then I had missed two checkmarks. At this point, I am concerned about the direction the day was heading... not with trades... but with my behavior. Therefore, time to shut it down.
This was a really strong day for my trading methodology, had I personally performed better, it would have paid off well. I just really got in the way...
+300
At this point, I really considered shutting it down for the day. So I took a break. Got away from the computer, and just tried to get back to stable so I could do my job. Came back again...
The above statement was made "after" you mention the words third trade. Thus, does the above statement implies you're now back to taking more than 3 trades or did I missed somewhere that the 3 trade limit has been removed ?
The above statement was made "after" you mention the words third trade. Thus, does the above statement implies you're now back to taking more than 3 trades or did I missed somewhere that the 3 trade limit has been removed ?
Yes, the three trade limit is removed as I have continually been "check marking" the trades. Thanks for asking.
Very sloppy today..., very sloppy
Many things you should have done (per rules) but didn't - up to and including check marking each trade
Need to get your shit wired tight - or..., it will bite you
If necessary..., take the rest of the week off to do so (slowing one's roll much preferable to taking 14 steps backwards)
I've done both - I know
RN
Many things you should have done (per rules) but didn't - up to and including check marking each trade
Need to get your shit wired tight - or..., it will bite you
If necessary..., take the rest of the week off to do so (slowing one's roll much preferable to taking 14 steps backwards)
I've done both - I know
RN
Thoughts on today...
I think writing down the ticks made or lost might possibly have contributed to me having p&l in the back of my mind... Perhaps what I should do, is only look at p&l after my fourth trade... Something I will consider.
Taking tomorrow off, and possibly Friday. Great advice @Redneck ... I would much prefer to slow down than take steps backward.
Have to say though, a lot is changing in my head for the better when I now call a positive ticks day a failed day due to improper trading behaviour. In the past, I wouldn't have even considered this...
I think writing down the ticks made or lost might possibly have contributed to me having p&l in the back of my mind... Perhaps what I should do, is only look at p&l after my fourth trade... Something I will consider.
Taking tomorrow off, and possibly Friday. Great advice @Redneck ... I would much prefer to slow down than take steps backward.
Have to say though, a lot is changing in my head for the better when I now call a positive ticks day a failed day due to improper trading behaviour. In the past, I wouldn't have even considered this...
Great journal Yukoner. I have been in your shoes. Keep it up, you're heading down a good path.
Mark of a professional
Yup - there's two levels
First is conscious - where Ya see it / know it / think about it
Second.., and more importantly - subconscious - where it default..., and Ya simply do it- sans any (or at least significantly reduced) thinking
=============
Make no mistake;
You are assimilating a lot - most counter-intuitive
You are reprogramming you (rebuilding nearly your entire thought process - hence actions / approach - about/ to - actual trading)
It do take time..., and work..., and rework..., and yet more rework...
You are doing fine!!!!
Keep on Truckin
RN