Winning $20 M Won't Make You Happy

[nooby_mcnoob]

Understood, you share a sample size of 1. Well, thanks for sharing your experience. I feel sorry if this is the whole lesson you learned from being poor. For me it's the opposite. I grew up in a pretty wealthy family. My parents house had over 6 floors and more than 25 rooms. They had RVs, boats, we were taken 3 times per year to lavish vacations. Yet my dad did not spend a single day in his life to take me fishing. All I remember was that during frequent weekend outings he had to abandon the rest of the family because work called him back to his clinic. I left home when I was 18, studied at the farthest imaginable place from home and felt free for the first time in my life. I never took a penny from my parents for college or grad school. I worked my butt up from the bottom as I rejected any assistance of my family nor use my dad's influence. Not a single letter of recommendation or other help. I made it completely by myself. When I landed very well paying jobs in trading positions at banks and hedge funds I spent at most 10% of my income on rent and other expenses. Even today I spend a max 5% of my net income on anything other than savings. 10% of my gross goes to tithes and offerings and another 10% to other volunteer and contribution efforts. I despise anything that remotely smells of luxury, no fancy cars, no fancy house (I still rent because I love the freedom and flexibility of being able to move at any time and knowing I can rent for the rest of my life without financial worries, but also because for a majority of my life as employed I was paid housing by my employers and frequently moved between financial centers). I despise any sort of luxury life style, clothing, or anything that reaks of money. It gives me zero satisfaction or happiness. I completely derive my happiness from my faith and friendships and relationships with loved ones, from helping those in need and see them pass on efforts to help others in turn.

Am I wealthy? I don't know and I don't care. Neither do I care what others think of me. What I know is that no amount of money in life can buy me happiness. And I work less and less in life (am transitioning from years as employed professional trader, to self employed trader, to now longer and longer holding periods that qualify more as investments than trading positions).

I feel sorry for anyone, wealthy or poor, who overvalue the importance of money. My monthly spending is probably on the level of those who earn 50k a year or so. In many ways even less. I don't need more. And I don't want to spend more. Not because I cling onto my savings but because I don't value what more spending could buy. For example, I attach zero value to restaurants and eateries. I have eaten some of the most lavish multi course meals in private clubs and hotel restaurants in the world but prefer the home cooking of my Japanese wife. She is a master at what she cooks, regardless of which ethnic cuisine she puts her hands on.

I cannot say whether I would live the same life style now had I not experienced wealth and lavish life styles early on in my life. But I know that money does not buy happiness that is for sure.

You didn't make it on your own, but I feel you. The first 18 years often decide the rest of your life

 

[ElCubano]

Except people often confuse needs with wants

“it’s not how much you have but how little you need” - I forgot where I saw this.

 

[Nobert]

YoU cAnT tAkE mOnEy To ThE gRaVe

Egyptians tried, they got robbed.

You can take your credit tho

Yet that was another story, when there was no limited liability concept, hundreds of years ago, debts would be left ,for your family.

( book ,,Homo Sapiens'' )

Hmnnn, ain't gonna buy happiness, but being broke, ain't gonna buy anything.
G.Cardone

 

[luisHK]

More money equals more problems once you get past a certain point. You think a poor person worries about a bank collapsing and their deposit not being insured ? Yet a wealthy person has to figure out ways to protect their wealth which creates more stress. Maybe my personal experience is an analomy.

I can totally relate to the stress of figuring ways to protect even a moderate wealth, which ime goes way beyond worrying about bank collapse . Depending on one's situation this might get worse with more wealth. Coming from a complicated and rather poor upbringing, I also remember the stress of looking for money and worrying on the day I might face a very bleak dead end. The latter is much worse imo, at least with some wealth you can spread it around so major issues shouldn't leave you completely broke. Starting up it was all the not so many eggs in a dodgy single basket, much more uncomfortable.
Besides I was already doing fine financially when Junior number 1 came up, seeing all the extra responsibilities and worries children bring, trying to raise kids worrying about basic necessities or education must take a big toll on well being.
I have a hard time believing a low income is better for well being than a high income, although the financial numbers advanced in happiness studies make sense. If one knows their kids can get decent education and healthcare, has enough to pay for the basics and some extra while not overly worried about his financial future, there is little reason he feels worse off emotionally than wealthier folks.

 

[solongbro]

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/31/har...-wont-make-you-happy-but-heres-what-will.html

What do you think?

Hey! Let's get some perspective on this issue.

Firstly, one word: Dysfunctionality

Secondly, the phrase: Shit stinks at all levels

Will 20 mil make you happy? Well if your relationships and family are broken beyond repair then 20 mil could only make things worse. Your mother was humpin her tennis coach and your father abused your sister when she was young. 20 mil aint gonna wipe the slate clean folks.

If your view on life is blurred, then forget trading, you're a basket case.

 

[cruisecontrol]

Well, if you define spending a monthly pocket money amount of around 400 USD (excluding food, rent, extraordinary purchases) in the most expensive city in the world a lavish life style then I believe it is you who is out of touch. True, I never experienced the life of someone being truly poor or homeless. But I never claimed to have experienced such and the point of this thread was not how it feels to be truly poor. The point of the thread was that lots of money is not a guarantor to make one happy. I shared stories of others who are truly wealthy and what they shared their regrets are and I also shared from personal experience that money in itself did not provide any happiness. Take it from there any way you like, I honestly could not care less.

What I said was "Being able to move whenever/wherever you want, not having financial worries, not having to trade the best hours of your life every day for money, are all luxuries that most people will never know."

You choose to live in the most expensive places, you choose to give yourself 400 USD of pocket money, you choose to save a lot instead of spending. It sounds to me like you do whatever you want. That kind of freedom is only available to those with a lot of wealth. Just because you aren't a big spender doesn't mean that being wealthy isn't important to you, in fact it likely means the opposite - since you value savings higher than all the things you could buy with it. Give away all your savings and live paycheque to paycheque then get back to us about how your happiness hasn't changed at all compared to before. If that's even possible.. since you probably make money from money if you are on this forum.

 

[GRULSTMRNN]

Wrong, that kind of freedom is only available to those who work hard and make tons of sacrifices and even then not everyone is guaranteed such freedom. I had zero wealth of my own and paid myself through college and grad school all on my own. Yes I am privileged and blessed but not because I got a financial head start because I did not. And I don't choose to live in the city I live in because I like it so much. I am here because this is where I pay no capital gains taxes at all and where my visa status allows me to live, a status I also earned and which was not bestowed upon me by anyone else. Those choices all came with sacrifices. That is what most people don't want to realize. They for whatever reason must stay in their ghetto and rather moan how tough life is. Truth is that unless one lives in North Korea one can with hard work at the very least move out of a shit hole to a better place even if that means the next town.

You continue to spout your narritive that anyone claimed life being poor is a happy life. Yes it can be happy and it can be utterly shitty, it depends what one makes out of life with or without wealth. I believe a certain minimum standard of living makes one happier than living below such standard all else being equal, I never argued otherwise. But there are over a hundred million Americans who live above such minimum living standard and they are not happy. That is my entire point. Money does not buy happiness

What I said was "Being able to move whenever/wherever you want, not having financial worries, not having to trade the best hours of your life every day for money, are all luxuries that most people will never know."

You choose to live in the most expensive places, you choose to give yourself 400 USD of pocket money, you choose to save a lot instead of spending. It sounds to me like you do whatever you want. That kind of freedom is only available to those with a lot of wealth. Just because you aren't a big spender doesn't mean that being wealthy isn't important to you, in fact it likely means the opposite - since you value savings higher than all the things you could buy with it. Give away all your savings and live paycheque to paycheque then get back to us about how your happiness hasn't changed at all compared to before. If that's even possible.. since you probably make money from money if you are on this forum.

 

[Stockolio]

I worked at biltmore securities a sister broker dealer to Stratton oakmont back in the early 90s. Where some kids were making $50-$80k a month with the bigger producers topping some months at $250k . I put out the Steve Madden ipo, harmony holdings, octagon. I saw a kid named (big block) Mike make a stick on a 500,000 share order a f**cking stick. I met Jordan Belford at a strip club in ft Lauderdale tossing hundreds to the dancers on stage, Danny Porush, all big swinging D$$ks, Richard Bronson, etc. I sat in the pump up meetings every morning and close of market. I can tell you 100% without a shadow of a doubt no way Jose money does not bring you happiness and I’ve been on both sides. Happiness is unconditional or should be to attain true value, at least after your basic needs are met. Everything else is noise to pump up your ego lol. On a side note I learned more there than any other job I ever had. How to ask for big money when all I had was nickels.

Happiness to me is more about purpose, giving more than you take, lifting others.

Hehe, I know... Just a funny movie scene, happiness just like wealth, it's a state of mind... External factors can determine a bit, but mostly comes from within

 

[cruisecontrol]

Wrong, that kind of freedom is only available to those who work hard and make tons of sacrifices and even then not everyone is guaranteed such freedom. I had zero wealth of my own and paid myself through college and grad school all on my own. Yes I am privileged and blessed but not because I got a financial head start because I did not. And I don't choose to live in the city I live in because I like it so much. I am here because this is where I pay no capital gains taxes at all and where my visa status allows me to live, a status I also earned and which was not bestowed upon me by anyone else. Those choices all came with sacrifices. That is what most people don't want to realize. They for whatever reason must stay in their ghetto and rather moan how tough life is. Truth is that unless one lives in North Korea one can with hard work at the very least move out of a shit hole to a better place even if that means the next town.

Never said you didn't work hard, never said you didn't earn your wealth. There is nothing wrong with being wealthy. But it sounds like you have something to prove about how you got there?

I think you should just admit that being wealthy is very important to you. If it wasn't then why did you work so hard and sacrifice to achieve it? Why waste the time if you were already happy without it?

Also realize that ultimately it is the wealth that gives you the freedom, not the hard work and sacrifices. You said it yourself, hard work doesn't guarantee it. Tons of people work super hard but they are not effective. You need to work hard and smart and also not get unlucky.

You continue to spout your narritive that anyone claimed life being poor is a happy life. Yes it can be happy and it can be utterly shitty, it depends what one makes out of life with or without wealth. I believe a certain minimum standard of living makes one happier than living below such standard all else being equal, I never argued otherwise. But there are over a hundred million Americans who live above such minimum living standard and they are not happy. That is my entire point. Money does not buy happiness

Have you considered that maybe because they need to spend all their time just to get above that minimum standard and they have no time left to enjoy it? When I was working a regular job I was above the standard but I would get home exhausted every day and spend most of my little free time watching TV because I was too tired to do anything else.

 

[Sinbin]

I would get home exhausted every day and spend most of my little free time watching TV because I was too tired to do anything else.

A monotonous routine followed by what you stated scares me. My approach is aligned in the middle... I want financial security and freedom, but the pursuit can’t outweigh the purpose. By purpose- I want the financial security and freedom to do what I want and love.

Would 20M be the number where I can focus on my purpose rather than the pursuit? I don’t know... which is scary too because 20M is a lot of money. I can certainly do a lot of the things I want to do, but I’m in my early 20s. Surely 20M can’t suffice for survival and fun... maybe it can. I don’t know. Weird to think about, but necessary.