Quote from Pabst:
Ok, I'm coming clean. Like many of you on ET, in the media, military, federal and local governments, and scientific community, I have received compensation from the U.S. Government in exchange for "keeping quiet" about 9/11. Flight 77? Never happened. Ted Olson was tired of his wife's yacking so we concocted the whole flight. Clearly the hole in the Pentagon wasn't big enough even for a disintegrating aircraft. Our engineers "measured" wrong. Happens. The service station owner who says he saw the plane impact into the Pentagon? Let's just say he's charging the highest prices for premium unleaded in all of Virginia without any FTC hindrance. We also gave him a nice tip to buy NYMEX futures last spring. He's doing very well, thank you.
Of course many of you know by now that we had to shoot down Flight 93. Actually it wasn't originally part of our "plot" but sometimes Rummie likes to go for the "human angle" and the notion of heroic passengers commandeering a plane from the hijackers was just to good of a hook. Plus it kept media coverage tied up in knots. That's why you see made for TV movies about 93 and NOT about WTC 7.
Up in New York things went like clockwork. Ever hear those rumors that the reason so few Jews were killed in the Trade Center was because they were tipped by Israeli intelligence? Not exactly true. Rather Mr. Silverstien did give some well placed hints that 9/11 was the real Yom Kippur and that atonement did NOT include yield curve arbitrage that Tuesday. From Long Island to the Upper West Side that fateful morning it was virtually impossible to get near a Deli that sold a tongue on rye. Nice work Larry!
Downtown we had to lay the payola out thicker than thieves. We'd already told the FDNY that demolition of the twin towers would not start until three hours after our jets had made impact. You can imagine how pissed off the brass was when they found out about those 80 WTC elevator mechanics leaving the scene immediately. When we explained how the firefighters union will never have to fight again for another pay raise, they calmed down a bit. The cops were a little harder to appease and now with Kerik's nomination up in flames we'll have to sweeten the pot down the road. Not to worry though. New York's finest are great guys and without them turning a blind eye, publicly at least, we'd never have pulled this off.
We got to Hillary early, well before , in 2000. We got Rudy out of the Senate race and gave her a clear win. One problem though is we promised both her AND Rudy the White House in 2008. We'll see if maybe something can't be worked out, after all Rudy's too moderate for the GOP ticket anyway.
The media whores of course went snooping. Peter Jennings? Let's just say his lung cancer wasn't from cigarettes if you get my drift. Howard Stern was REALLY getting to be a pain in the ass. FCC fines, nothing would keep that big mouth quiet. He hears things and we worried he'd make into some sort of Lesbian implosion dial a date. Fortunately we were able to get him a divorce and nine figures from Sirius. The King of all Media is stoked! Hillary was a big help getting this shit past the Demo minority in Congress. Thank God she'd had the foresight to shoot that video of Boxer, Feinstein and Pelosi getting it on in front of her after that L.A. fundraiser. No siree, you won't hear a peep from those Dems.
I forgot, yes FEMA. Of COURSE the report was a whitewash. But then Brown started acting all high and mighty. When we forced out O'Neill (thanks for the assist Bono) Brown started saying shit like if he wasn't the new Treasury secretary he'd spill the beans. Because of that incompetent ego-maniac we had to spend almost five years working on Katrina. Do you think it's easy diverting a Cat4 to the Big Easy? Hell we had to start a record number of storms before we nailed it. Good thing we slowed down Rita. That one was pure rogue and POTUS would have been real pissed if we accidently took out Houston. Notice how Brown quit on Sept. 12th this year. The Muslims have their "anniversary" dates and we have ours too.
Me I used my noggin. Where as the Port authority and FDNY guys took their payoffs in depreciating dollars I asked for and got liquid gold. HAL. Euro denominated to boot. Baby.
