what I like is a mental challenge, not a will power challenge.
so, the markets provided me with the mental challenge of figuring them out (the holy grail)
but, just figuring them out wasn't enough, i guess i want something more... to be recognized as having done so. very materialistic, but it's true.
yet, i don't have the discipline or willpower to be a successful trader, so i have no outlet for my creativity.
i feel like an artist who paints a picture that no one will ever see.
thanks for you thoughtful reply inandlong.
btw, i don't have a talent for trading. I may have been profitable at times due to having an edge, but my will power was weak, and i eventually gave in to the thrill of the game. Actually it's more of a terror thrill, and I certainly don't like the feeling.