Today In The News....

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Code named Advancing Iraq Society, President Bush was "proud" that he "personally oversaw" his effort manifest in a $2.75 billion dollar street project funded by the US government called, Water To The People.

Though he did concede the results didn't turn out "exactly" as he expected by his adding, "Huh... look at that! A minor detail."

The next day he sumitted a $17.95 billion dollar proposal to remedy the problem. Details of his package known only as, Quick Fix were not yet made public.
 

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Hilary Clinton demonstrates the face Monica made when she asked Monica, How did it taste?
 

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Even years after "the incident" Monica still submits shreds of evidence.

The White House revealed her latest piece along with a scratchy note written by Miss Lewinsky with the words scrawled in orange crayon, Just a dollar for each DROP...."

It was surmised by Administration staff that Lewinsky was alluding to her discontentment over the government's final compensation for her brief employment.

The note and photo were discreetly forwarded to the Clintons.
 

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Haitian women who are ongoing victims of abuse and rape in the troubled Caribbean nation of Port-au-Prince petitioned the government for remedy for the continuing sexual crimes against themselves.

The womens' proposed solution: If the government could just "re-set the lighting" in the nation making everything black and white, the women would have "much better chances" of just blending in, making the targeting of themselves "more difficult" for the perpetrators of the sex crimes upon them.

Former virgins pleaded with the government to at least "try" by telling officials, "We have nothing to lose!!!"

Photo is a prop stage example taken by the petitioning females. Former virgin Kluchaka is seen in the picture - second from the bottom.
 

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This rare photo, snapped by Bill Clinton, surfaced recently.

Taken by Bill to prove to himself he wasn't seeing things due to having the DTs.

It was confirmed, indeed, that this is Hilary the first 5-minutes of each morning upon waking next to Bill in bed.
 

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photo taken this time of both Bill and Hilary attempting yet another method to work out their sex problems.
 

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President Bush, encouraged to come up with a final remedy to "that little problem in Iraq," submits his solution in picture form to the Administration.

Shown here are George and Condoleezza walking in the most densely-populated Iraqi city (post-operative).

Photo titled, The Clearing.

Complete details of Bush's plan were not publicly available - Only this much is known: The campaign has something to do with "the use of bombs."
 

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Pressed by the Bush Adminstration to "do more" against terrorism, Chinese President Jiang Zemin (shown in photo) responds in his Reach Happy Medium proposal.

Here, the Chinese president demonstrates his point - proving that, in addition to being served as dinner, "other life forms" as an "alternative to committing Chinese military troops to fight in Iraq" can be trained to carry out complex, high level operations.

President Zemin stating that his way is "just as effective."

Staff at the Administration continue working 'round the clock on a viable interpretation of Jiang's gesture.

Though Bush was quick to interject that "if it didn't work out," coalition soldiers "could use the dogs" to play jump rope with, "especially the Polish."

He quickly recanted the statement while he checked to make sure there actually were any Polish soldiers there.
 

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