An example of how the Bible's outdated guidelines are anything but that...
Creation Order Rings Out Loud: Even the Most Determined Secular Society Cannot Escape God's Design for Marriage and Family
The Nicholas Kristof piece...
Kristof begins with these words: "American liberals have led the campaign to reduce child poverty since Franklin Roosevelt, and it's a proud legacy, but we have long had a blind spot." He continues, "We're often reluctant to acknowledge one of the significant drivers of child poverty, the widespread breakdown of family, for fear that to do so would be patronizing or racist. It's an issue largely for working class Whites, Blacks and Hispanics, albeit most prevalent among African-Americans." He continues, "But just as you can't have a serious conversation about poverty without discussing race, you also can't engage unless you consider single parent households."
...is more than urgent for our discussion. I think you may hear things about it in the larger conversation in the culture this week, but I want to come back and say we as Christians don't start with sociology. The sociology is informative, it's illustrative, it's not authoritative. Authoritative for Christians is the Bible. Authoritative for Christians is the revelation of God. And this is where we understand that both in the Bible and in nature, that is to say even in lived human experience, what our Creator has made very clear is that His intention was that children, both boys and girls, be raised by two-parent families. And by the way, this doesn't just mean two parents, as if the magic number two is all there is to it. This is a mother and a father, a husband and a wife.
Now, Nicholas Kristof says, "The data don't indicate so much that it has to be gender related." Well, I think we, as Christians, just need to say upfront, "Oh yes, we know it does." And here's where we just have to step back a moment and say, "This kind of data is really illustrative of the fact that the rebellion against the Creator and the rebellion against creation order is such that there's a revulsion on the parts of many in this society to saying there are any thou-shalts or thou-shalt-nots when it comes to, say, marriage, family, sexuality, gender, children, raising children, et cetera."
And we as Christians understand that any rebellion of that sort is going to end in abject disaster. The sociological data that are so devastating and the lives that are so diminished in terms of their promise, in terms of economic, of jobs, of educational advancement, we understand that's all just downstream, and frankly, Christians have to say inevitable once you reject God's plan. Now, the Christian gospel doesn't end with the affirmation and clear revelation of the consequences of rejecting God's plan, but it does--and this is really important for Christians, I'm going to be writing about this because I'm hearing nonsense from Christians on this score--we need to come back and say, "The New Testament doesn't say, 'Oh, all that Old Testament concern with marriage and the family, well, that's all over now in the new covenant of Christ.'" That's not true. Just read the letters of the Apostle Paul.
And even as the church is concerned with helping those and ministering to those and validating those who are not in those kinds of homes, the fact is that the New Testament church holds up the same revealed--affirmed in creation order--plan of God for the family. And quite frankly, even in our congregations, we see the difference. We understand why it matters, and we as Christians want to help all children and all parents in all contexts, certainly within the church, but also even in the community, to do better, to flourish, to have greater opportunity. But we also understand that a rebellion against God's order and, for that matter, even just a fracture because sometimes people are in this predicament, never intending to be in this predicament. They don't even bear responsibility directly for being in this predicament. But I think of all people, they're the last people to say, "This isn't a predicament."
Again, we'll be talking about this. There's going to be a lot of data coming in, and quite frankly, I'll tell you in advance, we've got to look for the cultural backlash against this book, this column, this argument, because that's going to be really, really interesting.
It's also interesting that just a couple of days later, the New York Times, the same newspaper, ran a piece by Jessica Gross entitled, There's Still Overwhelming Cultural Pressure to Get Married and Have Kids. Now, what makes that interesting is that if you just take the headline, that would mean that the presumption is maybe we could or should get past the time when there's overwhelming cultural pressure to get married and have kids.
And once again, just looking at the Jessica Gross piece, it's pretty clear about the fact that there is still, what she describes as, overwhelming social pressure to get married and have children. She says, "A substantial majority of Americans, 75%, have been married by 40," by the way, just in human scale, that's very late, "and once they're in their 40s, over 75% of men and over 80% of women have had a biological child." She goes on to say, "There's this idea floating around that if only the broader culture pushed marriage and family harder, we wouldn't have so many single parents. And I always wonder, when exactly did the broader culture stop pushing marriage and babies?"
Well, that's where I've got an answer for you, Jessica Gross. The answer is that in the academic elites and the ideological elites, they've been fighting against the natural family and against marriage and against having children as the expectation for decades. But here's the problem, creation order still is so loud as revelation that there's really no way to get past this. I want to go back to the pattern. The reason I'm talking about these two things today is because I think the same pattern is there, where you had Brad Wilcox talking about talk left, walk right, or, as I describe, liberal theories, conservative lives.
The fact is that you have two couples, and let's just say they're rich and advantaged. Let's just say one of them got tenure at Harvard and the other ones working in Palo Alto. And the four couples have four jobs. They have two children, they get married, young man and a young woman. You know what all four of those earlier parents want to be? Now, I'll just say this out of a deep personal testimony, they want to be grandparents. And even though they may live by the liberal theory that that's a bourgeois, old-fashioned, patriarchal, oppressive expectation, the fact is that I think that young liberal couple is still going to drop some older liberal hints about the fact that a grandchild or grandchildren would be very welcome.
And, by the way, I don't think that's selfishness. It could be. It could be demonstrated in selfish ways. I think that's creation order. I think that's a desire God has put within us. I think it is something that explains why, in spite of all the liberal theories, when a young mom and a dad get on a plane and you got one kid who's in a papoose and a couple others coming on by hand, what do people think when they see that family? They might not want to sit next to a crying baby, but the fact is most people just can't help smiling when they see those little children and they see that family coming on the plane. There's just a picture there. And even if, ideologically, they say, "I don't want to advantage or privilege that picture," the fact is that in their hearts, they see something that's inherently good they just can't deny.
That, too, by the Christian worldview is a revelation of the glory of God. It is the things that you cannot not know, the realities you cannot ultimately defeat even in your own heart. And I just have to confess to you, I'm speaking here not only as a theologian and as a churchman and as a Christian, I'm speaking also as a son and a grandson and a father and a grandfather. And I just want to tell you I'm pretty happy about that, pretty unspeakably happy about that, and I want to see even more people happy like that and know that joy.
And I simply want to say to this columnist in the New York Times, what she describes as an overwhelming cultural pressure to get married and have kids, that isn't just some hangover of a bourgeois Victorian culture. That's actually nature at work, or, more specifically, that's creation order at work. And you can resist it, but in the end, creation order wins.