tampa's "short skirt" trades...

[tampa]

A sense of overwhelming fear, and an ever-increasing depression took control today. Something that has been so important, has meant so much in my life could be about to end. Twenty years – wasted.

What if the inevitable happens? What will I do with my time? What dream will replace the one that has kept me going for so many years? Dreams, no matter how unlikely, come easy when you are young – they are hard to come by as he years pile up, and unbridled optimism gives way to harsh reality.

I am not an old man, but I am trapped in an old man’s body. To add insult to misery, in my heart, in my spirit, I am as young as I was when this all began. I still believe. I still dream. It is this belief, this dream that makes me want to get up every morning.

How can something so good, turn out to be so bad?

I am not a pauper. My losses, while painful, will not cause me to seek handouts. Financially, I will survive. It’s the dream that I can’t afford to lose. And that is why I sit here paralyzed today. That is why I did not, and cannot trade. My inaction will buy me another day – another day to prolong the dream.

 

[dbphoenix]

Fact or fiction? Or perhaps just an existential rant?

 

[tampa]

Quote from dbphoenix:

Fact or fiction? Or perhaps just an existential rant?

I have refrained from replying to posts recently - but with yours I will make an exception.

What fucking difference does it make? You are not me.

 

[dbphoenix]

Quote from tampa:



I have refrained from replying to posts recently - but with yours I will make an exception.

What fucking difference does it make? You are not me.

None really. But since you've confessed that most of this has been made up, you can't expect anyone to take your supposed angst seriously. If all of this is presented as entertainment, then don't be surprised if people treat you as an entertainer.

 

[Tonkadad]

Tampa,

You very eloquently put into words something very similar I have been going thru for the last month or so.

I had been so focused on trading as being my oneway ticket to happiness, that would heal my disappointments in life, correct my mistakes, that I squeezed the life out of it.

IMO trading is a mirror for my life, whatever I have created, the bounty or lack is just a reflection of my thinking.

If you objectively take a look at some other aspect of your life, and make a list of all of your feelings, experiences, highs and lows and compare it to a list you would make for trading they would be the same. The only difference with trading is the accelerated time scale.

So to sum it up in one sentence, whatever you are experiencing in trading is a reflection of what you are experiencing in your life.

Personally, the lack I am experiencing right now in my trading is a direct result of the lack that I have projected into my life.

If we agree our perception of the world has created where we are in it, then to change where we are in it we must change our perception of the world.

You are a very insightful person, I am probably not telling you anything you don't know.

What I would say is this, give trading a break, give it all a break. Let it breathe, don't choke the life out of it.

As you know, our emotions and feeling are temporary, go get a gallon of Hagen Daas (oops forget you are Diabetic) go splurge on something, go and see 5 movies at the theater, go lie on the beach for a couple of days, whatever it is for you.

On the chance that you are exercising your fictional muscles, well done, does it really matter, life is just an illusion anyways. I posted the above more for me than you, if you know what I mean.

regards,

Bruce Hawkins

p.s. I am guilty of finding pleasure in my friend's failings, for the obvious reasons.

 

[tampa]

I haven’t been directly responding to the posts recently – but I have read them. I liked the ones that said “Get Help”.

Get help from who – a shrink? There’s not one on the face of this earth that knows more than I do. Not one who can tell me anything I do not already know. Nor is there one who knows what I am experiencing, because all the “book learning” in the world cannot begin to put a shrink inside of my head. This is something you have to live to understand. And YOU know exactly what I am talking about.

I didn’t get this far in life because I am stupid. It’s quite the opposite. I can do things that few others can do. I have insights and abilities that put me closer to the head of the line than at the end. And it’s eating me alive that I can’t beat this game.

I sit here looking at my screen – at the market. Every day people come to play. Every day someone walks away a winner –day after day, year in and year out. So I know it can be done – if it couldn’t, there would be no market.

Why am I not the one who always wins? Why am I the one who, more often then not, provides the profits others walk away with? These questions are tarring me apart. OK, so I’m not the sharpest tack in the box. Nor am I the dullest. Modesty aside, I’m pretty damn smart, thank you. So who the hell am I supposed to get “help” from? And help with what? I know what I am doing. I am fully aware of the consequences. And I know what will happen if I fail.

All I need “help” with is figuring out how to walk away a winner most days. If you can provide the name and address of the person who can “help” me do that, I’ll make an appointment first thing in the morning.

 

[resinate]

Quote from tampa:

Get help from who – a shrink? There’s not one on the face of this earth that knows more than I do. Not one who can tell me anything I do not already know. Nor is there one who knows what I am experiencing, because all the “book learning” in the world cannot begin to put a shrink inside of my head. This is something you have to live to understand. And YOU know exactly what I am talking about.....

Hi Tampa,

My original and still evening career is as a psychotherapist. While I can't claim to have any particular insight into your difficulties, I can assure you that what you write above is not fully true.

We all have an unconscious, which by definition, is not fully knowable. It is most likely to blame when one cannot do something they clearly can and want to do.

Best wishes

 

[klutz]

Ever thought that you are trying too hard ?

 

[TM_Direct]

"I didn't’t get this far in life because I am stupid. It’s quite the opposite. I can do things that few others can do. I have insights and abilities that put me closer to the head of the line than at the end. And it’s eating me alive that I can’t beat this game."


....If you are not stupid, then you surely are compulsive....From some previous dialogues i know that you have had quite the party life?? Were you ever in AA or rehab for drug use??? Your diabetes was adult onset was it not?? Im not chopping you down here, im actually curious about this because I think that many people who are compulsive give up one circumstances for another....often cigarette smokers gain a ton of weight when they give it up because food replaces the nicotine...many and i mean MANY ex- drug addicts become born again christians and become obsessed with saving the world ect...yet it's really replacing one obsession with another...I know several guys who had problems with gambling that jumped into daytrading for the same reason.....It's just something to think about and analyze as you go on...it may not apply to you in any way shape or form so forgive me if im off base...just a suggestion as i have some experience with this , although not personally.

 

[dbphoenix]

Quote from tampa:

All I need “help” with is figuring out how to walk away a winner most days. If you can provide the name and address of the person who can “help” me do that, I’ll make an appointment first thing in the morning.

Since you've made it clear that you don't have the discipline to follow a plan, no trader in the world will be able to "help" you unless he also happens to have a background in psychotherapy.