Steps In Overcoming Masturbation

I was a teenage Mormon masturbator. We were called into the Bishop's office annually compelled to confess our sins and repent for choking the chicken. We all lied about it. It was creepy. If you admitted to it then he would get too close and ask about too many details. Like he was looking for tips or something or was desperately trying to suppress his pedophilia.

Later I was excommunicated for fornication with his daughter.

Their view on masturbation is one of the reasons I no longer belong (you can still return to the church once you are excommunicated), among others. I still respect them, nobody's perfect. But their views, past or present on many social issues is quirky at best. And I like beer. And I didn't want to marry someone before I fucked her.

Romney will never make it. Way more prejudice against mormons than there ever was against Kennedy for being Catholic.
 
Quote from silver914:

I was a teenage Mormon masturbator.

LMAO Silver. This could be:

a. the opening line of a 12 step program.
b. A pedophile's confession
c. A great name for a punk rock band.

(why in the hell did I even open this thread?)

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I've been spanking it since I was 3, what's the point of this garbage thread. While I'm on the subject, did any of you catch Lizzy Clayman today...BABABABBOOOMM:cool:
 
Quote from topdown:

why in the hell did I even open this thread?

Because you like to make the bishop puke just as much as the rest of us.

Seriously...I look at it like farting. Everyone does it. If you say you don't then you're a liar. I'm lucky to have a wife who likes sex (the first one didn't) so I don't do it as much now as I did when I was 12.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

If you hand falls asleep, do you feel rejected.

Actually, once your hand is asleep, you use it to masturbate. It's called The Stranger. :D
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Thanks for the heads up.

I started to masturbate in the shower so much as a kid, I get an erection whenever it rains! I live in Seatlle, think I should move?

Just don't move to Sequim. It rains more there than in Seattle.

People in that town are pretty strange I hear...
 
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