I absolutely respect this position you have, more than I can communicate.
I am totally struggling with this decision and its taken a life of its own in my deliberations.
On one hand with Trump I have an individual who I absolutely loathe as a person. Can't stand his empty speeches stuffed with "filler words" like "great" and "stupid" and "the best ever" and all sorts of hyperbolic nonsense targeted to people with an IQ under 100. He lies - almost constantly - and exaggerates. He will say he didn't say something when someone plays a tape of him saying that very precise thing. But yet he supports policies I support and will fight to ensure they are passed. He defends law and soldiers, and opposes violence and extremism from progressive that shouldn't be tolerated in any civil society.
On the other hand there is Joe, someone who I like as a person, a regular type of guy (personality-wise) and who has traditionally been a moderate in the democratic party. But he's been pulled way, way to the left by his handlers and he supports many of the ideas I find loathsome and frightening. While it is possible he may hold to the center after being elected, I don't believe that is the game plan with the democratic party. I believe they intend to take him out through incompetency actions - and from what I see in Biden's behavior, I think he's about 8 years beyond when he should have run. He just doesn't have the mental capacity for the job, and its sad. So now he keeps quiet when his party pushes extremism ideas, and as a result, he's for these ideas. Then they went and picked Kamala who has a very real chance of becoming President because of Biden's issues. And that is a huge problem with me.
So do I make it about me and vote for the person I like better? To do so is a choice based on ego. My desire is more important than what is good for the country? Or do I supplant my ego and cast a vote for the guy who disgusts me, because he is the better choice - not for me - but for the country?
My wife already voted for Trump. She asked me if I was going to go vote with her and I told her I hadn't made my choice. It was a significant stress point in our house. Still is.