Second account blown and conditioned to lose

[M.W.]

I don't think you have the skillset nor mental makeup for trading. Strongly recommend you to look elsewhere for happiness, contentment and success. I have almost never seen a single individual who revenge traded and who was able to change such habit in over 30 years in this field. Profit and loss taking can be adjusted in rare cases through hard work but not the emotional component. Without an inborn respect for risk and almost hate for losses, without the balls to stay in the right trades even in the face of short term corrections, without the ability to emotionally remove yourself from individual outcomes in the presence of good risk management, you won't ever make it as trader.

This is who you are and nothing wrong with it, just not suited to trading.

Hello,

this is my first topic here, and sadly, it wont be a good one. I have been trading for the past 2.5 years and apart from a brief success period it has been nothing but struggle. Started with stocks and IBKR, then 1 year ago moved to futures (DAX, NQ, rarely YM) trading via CFD. Started with a very small account which I raised and nearly destroyed several times.

My common behavior was/is : Eat like a bird and shit like an elephant. As soon as I enter a trade, if the trade goes in my favor I will exit my position for merely a few points and so many times see the trades I were in developing into huge winners without me in them ofcourse. But I will always take the full hit in a loss. And this has been going on for so long. And this isnt even the worst part of it. I started revenge trading. If I got stopped out and saw a small retracement in my prior basis I would reenter my position with a new stop loss in place at the next support/resistance area, but also increasing my position size, or add to my position if the trade went in favor for 2 consecutive candles for example. This is clearly a sign of decline instead of improvement.

My first blowup was in November of 2022. I stopped trading for 3 months. I refinanced my account in February and started trading again. And this week, it happened, on Monday I had a moderate draw down day, then on Tuesday, traded the EU session profitably and during the NY session, one small loss started a downward spiral which ended with me obliterating the account.
I feel like I failed my wife and kids completely. I do not follow other people in trading, am not member of any discord or other groups, have read books on psychology ( Trading in the zone, Best loser wins, Trading beyond the matrix etc), none of it worked. A good friend of mine told me, even in the past, "if you can't fix your problems and are constantly afraid of your positions then quit".
But, I don't want to quit. Do I want to continue doing the same mistakes? Ofcourse I don't want to. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.

Is this even achievable or am I simply conditioned to be a permanent net loser? Landing streaks of small winning days and one devastating day. Is there any light in the tunnel? I see that no matter how many books I read, videos I watch, conversations I have, when in the trenches the same mistakes are repeated over, and over.

Thanks for reading, and please, do not be too harsh, I am already more than harsh at myself as is.

 

[Sprout]

Hello,

this is my first topic here, and sadly, it wont be a good one. I have been trading for the past 2.5 years and apart from a brief success period it has been nothing but struggle. Started with stocks and IBKR, then 1 year ago moved to futures (DAX, NQ, rarely YM) trading via CFD. Started with a very small account which I raised and nearly destroyed several times.

My common behavior was/is : Eat like a bird and shit like an elephant. As soon as I enter a trade, if the trade goes in my favor I will exit my position for merely a few points and so many times see the trades I were in developing into huge winners without me in them ofcourse. But I will always take the full hit in a loss. And this has been going on for so long. And this isnt even the worst part of it. I started revenge trading. If I got stopped out and saw a small retracement in my prior basis I would reenter my position with a new stop loss in place at the next support/resistance area, but also increasing my position size, or add to my position if the trade went in favor for 2 consecutive candles for example. This is clearly a sign of decline instead of improvement.

My first blowup was in November of 2022. I stopped trading for 3 months. I refinanced my account in February and started trading again. And this week, it happened, on Monday I had a moderate draw down day, then on Tuesday, traded the EU session profitably and during the NY session, one small loss started a downward spiral which ended with me obliterating the account.
I feel like I failed my wife and kids completely. I do not follow other people in trading, am not member of any discord or other groups, have read books on psychology ( Trading in the zone, Best loser wins, Trading beyond the matrix etc), none of it worked. A good friend of mine told me, even in the past, "if you can't fix your problems and are constantly afraid of your positions then quit".
But, I don't want to quit. Do I want to continue doing the same mistakes? Ofcourse I don't want to. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself or develop the discipline I desire.

Is this even achievable or am I simply conditioned to be a permanent net loser? Landing streaks of small winning days and one devastating day. Is there any light in the tunnel? I see that no matter how many books I read, videos I watch, conversations I have, when in the trenches the same mistakes are repeated over, and over.

Thanks for reading, and please, do not be too harsh, I am already more than harsh at myself as is.

For psychology;
sounds like you have some shadow work to do. Most likely you'll avoid the very thing that would make a difference with distractions.

For trading;
Doesn't sound like you have any kind of risk mitigation plan like reducing position size with each successive losing trade.

Imho, you want to be right regardless of what the market is telling you, and you're not listening. You don't think rules apply to you, even the ones of your own making.


For more professional insight;

https://twitter.com/x/status/1635678668264706048

Some context for physiological mechanisms that have you keep reproducing your self-sabotaging behavior;
https://www.nature.com/articles/npp2016198

While the following keywords are useful for taking inventory and identifying triggers;
#self-sabotage #self-esteem #ptsd #generationaltrauma #futiletrader #learningfailure

Looking at "what are the opposite behaviors for self-sabotage?" is the path of growth.

Blessings and may you experiencing incremental improvement and leave perfectionism behind.

 

[Sameresult]

Sounds like you know what the problem is, and you are the only one who can fix it.

My suggestion as usual is to have a written plan that answers the question "what do I do now?" and focus on following the plan.

No, it sounds like he thinks he knows whats the problem.

My advice to OP is that he needs to read 25+ books. Actually read and understand them. Which will take time. One wants to be profitable and go through the content quickly but you cant rush mastery. So take your time and really let the knowledge sink in and write summaries on it.

 

[Slope Trader]

Yes, you are correct, I use naked charts and trade my "edge" when I see it. But, I don't let it play out because I do not trust my edge and at the same time being afraid to lose. Ofcourse I don't get to think about losing, when I am already losing and just accept as a fact that I will get stopped out. I have manually backtested a strategy in a vehicle which provided positive results (1 year of data/ 1 or 2 trades daily) because I can not mentally handle the stop loss required to utilize it.
Regarding your last sentence, it has been troubling my mind for a long time, that even though I consider myself having spent a lot of time in studying about the markets, it might not have been enough or spent my time in the wrong stuff. But even with more knowledge, the way I handle myself when in a position makes me think I will repeat the same sabotaging behavior.

I am 34 years old.

Family comes first... agree with others that it's best to get a full-time job right now, but would add that you should consider swing trading if you feel you need to stay involved in the markets.

I have done this for many years... at the end of each work day I look at daily charts of the futures markets that I trade to determine which ones have an entry signal. I then place orders with my entry price plus linked OCO orders for the stoploss price and the target price. I also adjust the trailing stoplosses on trades that are ongoing.

It is a pretty low stress way of trading and I recommend it. It doesn't have to be expensive either since there are so many micro futures markets to trade now. One can also trade this way with small numbers of stock shares.

Good luck to you.

 

[misterkel]

It's quite possible that swing trading may be easier than day trading

Truth.

 

[Jzwu2017]

For OP if you decide to continue please be prepared for the following.

1. You need 10+ years of experience to possibly cultivate an edge, if it happens at all.
2. You will lose a lot more money in the process. Sim trading won't work.
3. You will make all the mistakes in trading and do it over and over again even if you finally succeed.
4. You will need to completely change your psychology and those human behaviors.
5. You will have to be 100% disciplined before you become consistent.

Now think it over to determine if you still want to do it. Trading is a life long endeavor.

 

[SteveH]

OP, Tom Hougaard has a free Telegram channel where he trades Nasdaq, Dow, Dax and FTSE CFD cash markets. His website audio has only a one second delay audio which is excellent. Go find TD365's demo account (no login required, has real-time web charts) and copy trade all of his calls. Purpose is to learn discipline from a winning system trader. So be a dumb sim trading monkey for 3 months and see what happens.

 

[getthatintoya]

[QUOTE="Laissez Faire, post: 5780739, member: 206390"
PS: It's quite possible that swing trading may be easier than day trading, so maybe something to consider.[/QUOTE]
Hit the nail on the head there. Swing trade with any reasonable system and you will most likely make money. It involves less decision making so increases the chances of you not stuffing it up.

 

[Overnight]

...
Hit the nail on the head there. Swing trade with any reasonable system and you will most likely make money. It involves less decision making so increases the chances of you not stuffing it up.

AHAHHA, you're a pretty funny guy. Wait until you try it.

Just start your swing trading system RIGHT now with real monies. Go on, do it. DON'T BE A WIMP. DO IT RIGHT NOW!

And then feel your balls pull back up into your colon.

 

[getthatintoya]

AHAHHA, you're a pretty funny guy. Wait until you try it.

Just start your swing trading system RIGHT now with real monies. Go on, do it. DON'T BE A WIMP. DO IT RIGHT NOW!

And then feel your balls pull back up into your colon.

Lol I do already bro. Long syn straddle with a PF and a put cal. How do you like them apples