Quote from max401:
First, betting your vote, for any reason, is a sacrilege. Second, having made the bet, you failed to fulfill it, that is downright dishonorable. How could your friend ever rely on your word or trust again? He's better off having jettisoned you.
All I can say is that in the context of the moment (it was not really a bet....but the details are not important...because, it was a promise, so therefore it was as binding as a "bet" even though the reason was unclear, and had been totally forgotten by us both by the time the election rolled around), I did not think it was a serious promise. We both had too much to drink after work and I said I would vote for Bush to make him happy (for whatever reason). I had actually forgotten about the "promise" until he reminded me the day before the election. It was so absurd that it really didn't register until he reminded me. Even then, it was just a vague memory. But I knew I had somehow made a dumb promise, so I intended to fulfill it.
So yeah, I went back on my word. And as far a betting a vote being a "sacrilege", well, I have done worse under the influence over my time. I am not proud of every moment of my life. But I can live with myself.
By the way, trading votes was actually quite abundant in some of the western states in the 2000 election. Check with the Green Party. I am not saying this was right or wrong. But I was not the only guilty American that day.
But I make no excuses. I made an error. Fortunately, my friend has since forgiven my "sin", and we are back to where we were. We have just agreed to leave politics out of our discussions. Because we will never agree on certain issues. And they are really NOT about anything having to do with war, economics, or the things that matter to me and to him most. On these issues, we actually are pretty like minded. The issues we disagreed on were (essentially) separation of church and state. So these are not issues that can be resolved by debate or rational discussion. Neither of us will waver.
So as you, Max, and Hapaboy both concur, I made an error and I admit to it. However, my friend, who IS a friend, has found it in his heart to forgive and forget. We had a falling out, I felt bad and so did he. I apologized, and he forgave. So while you believe that he was better of having "jettisoned" me as a friend, in the end, he felt differently. Friendships are what they are. The value of friendships is determined by length, strength, and, as you mentioned, trust. So while I broke my promise, my "sin" did not offset years of good will and total trust and mutual respect.
We were BOTH saddened that we went through a down time. But real friendships weather stormy times. As ours did. So you ask how my friend could "ever rely on or trust me again", well, you would have to ask him. He does, and has gotten over my one transgression. Fortunately for us both, he is not as militant as you.
The same too many drinks that led to the stupid promise I broke accomplished the mending of the damage done. And while it may have been "dishonorable" to not fulfill my promise, at the time I was in the voting booth, I felt I would be "dishonorable" to myself to vote for a candidate I did not believe was qualified to hold the office. And I also had the "honor" to admit what I had done. I could have easily told him I voted for Bush. I did not. I thought I had a fair compromise worked out. I was wrong, and I owned up to it. Enough said.
Not everyone holds a grudge forever. Besides, we not only worked together and hung out together, but we played music together. So we really couldn't go too long without re-established our relationship. We practiced too long and too hard to master some fine jams. And things like good music transcend disagreements over things like school vouchers every time. (Not that I would expect everyone to understand). But trust me on this one.
Peace,
rs7
