Raising Kids: Torn between Religion and Science
- Thread starter Baron
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Your reticence to have your son exposed to the church sounds like it springs from your own experience. But if you deny your son the chance of his own experience, you are trying to live his life for him.
To quote from the book "The Prophet" -
"You may give them your Love, but not your thoughts - for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies, but not their souls - for their souls dwell in the house of Tomorrow which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you - for life goes not backwards, nor tarries with yesterday."
I was raised as a Christian, but other than the requisite attendances for school and ceremony, was not a participant.
I did listen, however, and later revisited those lessons that were taught (New Testament stuff) and found them to be generally good.
It was only by contemplation on it away from an enforced rigor that I came to understand the answer to the simple question "Why was Jesus crucified?" (No - not the staid, hackneyed answer "To save us from our sins").
In his later years, let him do his own analysis. Or not. The choice, and life, is his.
To quote from the book "The Prophet" -
"You may give them your Love, but not your thoughts - for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies, but not their souls - for their souls dwell in the house of Tomorrow which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you - for life goes not backwards, nor tarries with yesterday."
I was raised as a Christian, but other than the requisite attendances for school and ceremony, was not a participant.
I did listen, however, and later revisited those lessons that were taught (New Testament stuff) and found them to be generally good.
It was only by contemplation on it away from an enforced rigor that I came to understand the answer to the simple question "Why was Jesus crucified?" (No - not the staid, hackneyed answer "To save us from our sins").
In his later years, let him do his own analysis. Or not. The choice, and life, is his.
It was central to Christianity, but was never explained in any but the most superficial way to me (the "save us from our sins" mantra).
And just for clarification - it had nothing to do with affixing blame on Jews or Romans, etc. That answer would be too human an impulse - and too human a failing.
Should you do mainly one thing, I would suggest, then you need not get conflicted, or overly worried about your son getting a skewed view of religion. Or skewed anything else really for that matter. Introduce him to rational skepticism. Show him his natural ability to question and inquire.Quote from Baron:
Ok, I need some advice. I don't talk about myself here on ET as much as I should, but as the founder of this place, I feel like I need to turn to this community for a little wisdom in handling my current family situation.
I was raised in a Southern-Baptist household where there was only one true religion, and that was the one my parents taught me.This was OK growing up for a while but I felt like it pretty much failed miserably when I migrated into my adult years. No matter what church service I went to, I always left with more questions than I did answers. Even when the pastor would try his best to be apologetic and explain the tough questions, it was never quite good enough for me. And looking back, the worst people I've ever encountered were those that I had met at church.
The final nail in the coffin was when I read Stephen Hawking's book, "The Grand Design". He essentially said, "Believe what you want, but just make sure that what you believe lines up with your real-world observations". When I started to apply that to what I learned from a Christianity standpoint, I realized that virtually nothing, and I mean nothing, of what I had been taught about Jesus in the Bible was lining up with what I observed to be true in the real word. For example, churches across the country continue to have marriage counseling seminars for their members but yet statistics have shown time and time again that the divorce rate among Christians is almost identical to the rate among the non-believing population.
I could go on and on with this, but the bottom line is that I think I'm an athiest. But here's the problem: I have a six-year old son.
I'm torn between giving him the real truth about eternity as I see it, and putting him into a church environment where he may get a skewed view of religion but at least he'll learn some core principles from a peer group like helping others, staying away from drugs, etc.
My wife of course, is all about church and keeping us/him there whenever the doors are open. But I am so conflicted about it all. Any insight?
You might consider it's a good idea to explain to your son how his natural inquisitiveness is very positive, and help him learn the importance of developing his enquiry over credulity. How that approach has led to real knowledge and understanding of the world about him and the physical universe.
You're his dad, so you'll know how and when to guide him. How he is to decide for himself on religion and myth, and all sorts of other worldviews he will surely come up against, from politics through mysticism.
Having loving parents and being endowed with a healthy and balanced skeptical outlook, he will no doubt flourish despite those things that cause your concerns.
I should perhaps add, being a father of two typing this kneeling down, eyes almost shut in a fetal position daring not to mention the name Bar_n, has not been the easiest thing I've ever done, but I do hope it helps.
Quote from Baron:
"... I was raised in a Southern-Baptist household where there was only one true religion, and that was the one my parents taught me.
IMV, this is how kids learn to be religious... taught by their parents who were taught by their parents.
If not influenced by parents when the kids were very young and impressionable, I wonder how many would adopt any religion on their own as they grew up.??
""Science without Religion Is Lame, Religion without Science Is Blind" - Albert Einstein
I wish Einstein had said used spirituality to stand in for religion, but for him organized religion and religion were not the same. His is not the religion that Betrand Russel talk about in "Why I am not a Christian."
I think the correct way to approach it is by understand the words themselves. Ask them to define Metaphor. Ask them to define Analogy. Ask them to define Death. Ask them to define Spiritual. Ask them if the mind and the body are the same thing. Ask them to define Creator. Ask them to define God. Ask them to define the Bible, the Koran, the Torah. Ask them if the Creator and God are the same thing. Ask them if a person can be religious and spiritual without being part of organized religion. Ask them what the benefits of organized religion could be EVEN IF they did not believe in a Biblical God. Ask them to define Infinite. Ask them to define Morality, Ethics. Ask them to define Faith. Ask them to define Cause and Effect. Ask them to define Random. Ask them if the Chicken or the Egg came first. If the answer is "God made chickens and the eggs come from chickens" you are probably in trouble. Ask them what a placenta is. Ask them why not all animals have a placenta. Ask them what Evolution is. Ask them what benefit an animal would get from a placenta from an evolutionary standpoint. Ask them why there are two sexes. Why not four, or one?
Then show them a picture of a human being without their skin from a medical book, exposing ligaments, muscle, organs, etc and say, without our skins we all look identical. What then makes us unique? Is a human being a machine? Why or why not? What does it mean to be alive? Do rocks have feelings? What about animals? What about a tree? Ask them to define nature vs nurture. Ask them if animals believe in a God or Creator. Why not? Ask them if extra-terrestrials were discovered would that change our perception of religion? Then ask them the big one: WHY IS THERE SOMETHING INSTEAD OF NOTHING?
Once they have a precise language in which to talk about these things, they will make the right choices for themselves. The problem is first to disambiguate the meanings. Notice that this requires a certain amount of courage to do. 99% of the people on this planet don't want to know or care.
I wish Einstein had said used spirituality to stand in for religion, but for him organized religion and religion were not the same. His is not the religion that Betrand Russel talk about in "Why I am not a Christian."
I think the correct way to approach it is by understand the words themselves. Ask them to define Metaphor. Ask them to define Analogy. Ask them to define Death. Ask them to define Spiritual. Ask them if the mind and the body are the same thing. Ask them to define Creator. Ask them to define God. Ask them to define the Bible, the Koran, the Torah. Ask them if the Creator and God are the same thing. Ask them if a person can be religious and spiritual without being part of organized religion. Ask them what the benefits of organized religion could be EVEN IF they did not believe in a Biblical God. Ask them to define Infinite. Ask them to define Morality, Ethics. Ask them to define Faith. Ask them to define Cause and Effect. Ask them to define Random. Ask them if the Chicken or the Egg came first. If the answer is "God made chickens and the eggs come from chickens" you are probably in trouble. Ask them what a placenta is. Ask them why not all animals have a placenta. Ask them what Evolution is. Ask them what benefit an animal would get from a placenta from an evolutionary standpoint. Ask them why there are two sexes. Why not four, or one?
Then show them a picture of a human being without their skin from a medical book, exposing ligaments, muscle, organs, etc and say, without our skins we all look identical. What then makes us unique? Is a human being a machine? Why or why not? What does it mean to be alive? Do rocks have feelings? What about animals? What about a tree? Ask them to define nature vs nurture. Ask them if animals believe in a God or Creator. Why not? Ask them if extra-terrestrials were discovered would that change our perception of religion? Then ask them the big one: WHY IS THERE SOMETHING INSTEAD OF NOTHING?
Once they have a precise language in which to talk about these things, they will make the right choices for themselves. The problem is first to disambiguate the meanings. Notice that this requires a certain amount of courage to do. 99% of the people on this planet don't want to know or care.
lol. they are six years old. at that age the need protection from things like viruses. yes, religion is a mind virus.