Objective vs Subjective: Trading Performance Affects my Mood Too Much

MrMuppet said:
@zghorner: Sorry to tell you, but that is not going away. You're not going to be a family dad as a NASCAR driver either. Livermore killed himself, Toni Saliba will die rich and lonely.

If you're looking for a balanced life you're in the wrong profession, my friend.

It helps to have a sound strategy, tho. 90% of the stress when you're losing comes from the fact that you don't know if and when you are going to make money after cutting it.

As soon as you know exactly how and why you make money and who is paying you, things get a lot easier.
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this assumes the trader is discretionary to need to know or think your not sure when your gonna make the money again
 
MrMuppet said:
I don't believe, unfortunately I know.
Trading is a performance sport and you only earn if you are on top of your game.

If you meditate for one hour each day, go to the gym for 2 hours each day, scout for healthy food and cook each day when do you have time for your family when you work for 10-14 hours each day?

You really think you can sustain an above average income from trading with a 9-5 schedule?
Every single trader I know either has developed a health condition over the years (stomach issues are #1 from stress, eyes, back, heart), has broken family or lives alone since no spouse will deal with the constant mood swings. I won't exclude myself here.

You really, really have to be lucky to do this for more than 10 years without serious sacrifices.
Compared to the life of a ballerina this is still a cakewalk but you definitely won't make mid 6 figures a year as a trader and be home at 5 to play with your kids either.

Edit: Of course it helps when your networth is 8 figures and you dabble with swing trades so you can flex in front of your golf buddies.
But pushing it means grinding it out daily. If you are bored while trading, you're not pushing yourself hard enough and soon someone else will take your cake.
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This is exact opposite of successful trading which is the more boring it is the more successfull yet your writing the opposite

every trader you know develops health conditions but thats in just about any field of stressful duties not just tradding
 
Genevian Speculator said:
Paoer trade small meaningless amounts. When it doesent mean anything to you anymore emotionally turn to real trading, still very small size and keep that wmitional indifference up. Then slowly increase
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this is a good one for sure, the smaller the position the less emotions there is, i noticed that large sums can be made from many emotionless trades than few larger trades, as joe Ritchie said the position should be so small it seems like a waste of your time,, i imagine this in a soccer analogy, if u tell each player u must score a goal its easier than telling 2 players you got to score 5 goals each
 
zghorner said:
I told my wife's parents (who are wonderful people as well as successful in business and really support me and want me to do well)...no way around it that I was basically seeking praise which is a huge sign of immaturity.
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I know exactly how you feel. My guess is there is too much riding on your performance. Someone I respect a lot said trading should be meaningless. In other words, you should only care about following your plan and adjusting it based on new knowledge and experience. This will take time, so you may have to drop/postpone any dreams of supporting your family via trading alone. If you don't want to give up or postpone your dream, you will have to create a hard deadline for yourself, but that will put even more pressure! So no simple solution - at least not until you find an edge and able to use it responsibly.

Few things I would like to address, while totally respecting opinions expressed by other posters.
1. Automation is not a solution to this problem. First you get an edge, then you can TRY automating it(with exception when the edge itself comes from automation - ex: HFT).
2. While I agree that trading for a living is competitive and stressful, I don't think it has to end in heart attack, suicide, or divorce. There are plenty of traders who lead a very balanced life and trading same way for ages. One of the secrets, imho, is to trade OPM - never risking your own(as in prop trading).

Good luck.
 
MrMuppet said:
I don't believe, unfortunately I know.
Trading is a performance sport and you only earn if you are on top of your game.

If you meditate for one hour each day, go to the gym for 2 hours each day, scout for healthy food and cook each day when do you have time for your family when you work for 10-14 hours each day?

You really think you can sustain an above average income from trading with a 9-5 schedule?
Every single trader I know either has developed a health condition over the years (stomach issues are #1 from stress, eyes, back, heart), has broken family or lives alone since no spouse will deal with the constant mood swings. I won't exclude myself here.

You really, really have to be lucky to do this for more than 10 years without serious sacrifices.
Compared to the life of a ballerina this is still a cakewalk but you definitely won't make mid 6 figures a year as a trader and be home at 5 to play with your kids either.

Edit: Of course it helps when your networth is 8 figures and you dabble with swing trades so you can flex in front of your golf buddies.
But pushing it means grinding it out daily. If you are bored while trading, you're not pushing yourself hard enough and soon someone else will take your cake.
More...
So true. A lonely sport, and we cannot blame anyone but ourselves if we fail.

I don't think it is a matter of objective vs subjective, you have to learn to get use to losing without getting rattled. I am lucky my win rate is <40% so losing is routine.

Have an understanding family helps; be able to salted away enough trading profits so not have to worry about put food on the table helps.

Not have to worry about meeting tight schedules, like my old day job, is priceless.
 
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