Objective vs Subjective: Trading Performance Affects my Mood Too Much

[zghorner]

i am a mellow dude, pretty much stay calm and stick to The Middle Way most of the time...but i have an issue controlling my emotions when trading. When I am up big i get too excited even a touch of "the swelled head", when i am down big i become grumpy and intolerable to be around. I know that this is not the correct way to live and not good for my health nor is it fair to my family. It is also embarrassing to admit as i know it is a sure sign of immaturity.

What are some things that have helped you tame your emotions? I think a major issue i have is taking a subjective view of my positions vs being objective. Its like a cannot help but to value my opinion on what should happen more so than what is actually happening. I guess this might be why so many prefer automated trading systems?

I meditate almost daily, do yoga several times a week with my wife, sex almost every day, and lift hard several times a week which all help and give an instant calming effect but it is still not enough when the losses stack up. so far it seems that the market can stay irrational for longer than i can keep from freaking out and smashing my computer with a ball peen hammer.

Would like some open discussion, tips, tricks, all that stuff.

 

[Scataphagos]

It's all about discipline... doing what you KNOW you (probably) should... in spite of how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

 

[zghorner]

It's all about discipline... doing what you KNOW you should... in spite of how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

Well said man, thanks.

 

[Scataphagos]

Well said man, thanks.

If you don't KNOW why you should PROBABLY make a play, then you've got work to do before risking capital.

If you make an intelligent play and it goes wrong... that's what stops are for. Making an intelligent play that doesn't work out is not the same as "making a dumb play and hoping you 'get a break' and somehow it works out in your favor". (Unfortunately, even the dumb play works out favorably sometimes... which reinforces "hope".)

Discipline in trading is a BIG, B-I-G thing. Sounds simple. Difficult to execute well.

 

[wrbtrader]

i am a mellow dude, pretty much stay calm and stick to The Middle Way most of the time...but i have an issue controlling my emotions when trading. When I am up big i get too excited even a touch of "the swelled head", when i am down big i become grumpy and intolerable to be around. I know that this is not the correct way to live and not good for my health nor is it fair to my family. It is also embarrassing to admit as i know it is a sure sign of immaturity.

What are some things that have helped you tame your emotions? I think a major issue i have is taking a subjective view of my positions vs being objective. Its like a cannot help but to value my opinion on what should happen more so than what is actually happening. I guess this might be why so many prefer automated trading systems?

I meditate almost daily, do yoga several times a week with my wife, sex almost every day, and lift hard several times a week which all help and give an instant calming effect but it is still not enough when the losses stack up. so far it seems that the market can stay irrational for longer than i can keep from freaking out and smashing my computer with a ball peen hammer.

Would like some open discussion, tips, tricks, all that stuff.

I learned in my early teens the importance of sports and even working out to smooth out the emotions and keep things balance between subjectivity / objectivity.

Very useful in sports, college and then in the military...now in trading.

Funny thing that you mention sex...its like a cup of coffee to kick off the trading day in the right direction. Yet, the Pandemic has made it a lot more difficult because the girlfriend is an ICU nurse and staying elsewhere as a caution.

Boob shots on Facetime no longer cuts it.

wrbtrader

 

[MrMuppet]

@zghorner: Sorry to tell you, but that is not going away. You're not going to be a family dad as a NASCAR driver either. Livermore killed himself, Toni Saliba will die rich and lonely.

If you're looking for a balanced life you're in the wrong profession, my friend.

It helps to have a sound strategy, tho. 90% of the stress when you're losing comes from the fact that you don't know if and when you are going to make money after cutting it.

As soon as you know exactly how and why you make money and who is paying you, things get a lot easier.

 

[zghorner]

@zghorner: Sorry to tell you, but that is not going away. You're not going to be a family dad as a NASCAR driver either. Livermore killed himself, Toni Saliba will die rich and lonely.

If you're looking for a balanced life you're in the wrong profession, my friend.

It helps to have a sound strategy, tho. 90% of the stress when you're losing comes from the fact that you don't know if and when you are going to make money after cutting it.

As soon as you know exactly how and why you make money and who is paying you, things get a lot easier.

so you believe that having a healthy family life is unlikely, maybe even impossible if you are a professional trader?

 

[donnap]

It's a good topic OP and I'm sure that many of us struggle with it.

Sure, you can have a healthy family life, but as with any stressful job, it may not be easy.

It helps me to compartmentalize trading from my social life.

Win or lose, I don't share much about it. That takes discipline, too.

And, because we are human; it's impossible to live up to some ideal and completely control our emotions and discipline.

But learning to get over it quickly, and I mean in minutes, is relatively easy.

It does take practice.

OK now, is that f#@%#$&#g CL IV ever going to come down!!??

 

[zghorner]

It's a good topic OP and I'm sure that many of us struggle with it.

Sure, you can have a healthy family life, but as with any stressful job, it may not be easy.

It helps me to compartmentalize trading from my social life.

Win or lose, I don't share much about it. That takes discipline, too.

And, because we are human; it's impossible to live up to some ideal and completely control our emotions and discipline.

But learning to get over it quickly, and I mean in minutes, is relatively easy.

It does take practice.

OK now, is that f#@%#$&#g CL IV ever going to come down!!??

the bold quote from you really speaks to me. Last month i was really up big (for me that is) and out of excitement I told my wife's parents (who are wonderful people as well as successful in business and really support me and want me to do well)...no way around it that I was basically seeking praise which is a huge sign of immaturity. now this month i have given those gains back to Mr. Market and cant hardly stand to see them out of shame. No doubt My big mouth has brought some unneeded pain.

Some good advice in your post, thanks.

 

[donnap]

the bold quote from you really speaks to me. Last month i was really up big (for me that is) and out of excitement I told my wife's parents (who are wonderful people as well as successful in business and really support me and want me to do well)...no way around it that I was basically seeking praise which is a huge sign of immaturity. now this month i have given those gains back to Mr. Market and cant hardly stand to see them out of shame. No doubt My big mouth has brought some unneeded pain.

Yeah, I learned that one, too.

Complacency, overconfidence and exuberance are also dangerous mindsets.

It's funny, if you lose some money and make it back; you feel great about it.

But if you make some money and lose it back, you can feel pretty down.

Same result, opposite emotions.