Objective vs Subjective: Trading Performance Affects my Mood Too Much

My family and friends have no idea whether I had a good or a bad day. Daily results are irrelevant to me.

The only times I feel good about myself is when I develop a new trade or discover a new angle in an established trade (And the feeling doesn't last long haha).
 
Nothing is going to help more than time and experience.

I guess one tactic for me is I don't care about my winning % really.

Taking a small loss on a trade is a good trade to me. That is hard to view things that way though if you are focused on your winning %.

I mean you could win 80% of the time but if your winning trades are small enough and loses big enough it could still be unprofitable.
 
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zghorner said:
so you believe that having a healthy family life is unlikely, maybe even impossible if you are a professional trader?
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I don't believe, unfortunately I know.
Trading is a performance sport and you only earn if you are on top of your game.

If you meditate for one hour each day, go to the gym for 2 hours each day, scout for healthy food and cook each day when do you have time for your family when you work for 10-14 hours each day?

You really think you can sustain an above average income from trading with a 9-5 schedule?
Every single trader I know either has developed a health condition over the years (stomach issues are #1 from stress, eyes, back, heart), has broken family or lives alone since no spouse will deal with the constant mood swings. I won't exclude myself here.

You really, really have to be lucky to do this for more than 10 years without serious sacrifices.
Compared to the life of a ballerina this is still a cakewalk but you definitely won't make mid 6 figures a year as a trader and be home at 5 to play with your kids either.

Edit: Of course it helps when your networth is 8 figures and you dabble with swing trades so you can flex in front of your golf buddies.
But pushing it means grinding it out daily. If you are bored while trading, you're not pushing yourself hard enough and soon someone else will take your cake.
 
Paoer trade small meaningless amounts. When it doesent mean anything to you anymore emotionally turn to real trading, still very small size and keep that wmitional indifference up. Then slowly increase
 
MrMuppet said:
I don't believe, unfortunately I know.
Trading is a performance sport and you only earn if you are on top of your game.

If you meditate for one hour each day, go to the gym for 2 hours each day, scout for healthy food and cook each day when do you have time for your family when you work for 10-14 hours each day?

You really think you can sustain an above average income from trading with a 9-5 schedule?
Every single trader I know either has developed a health condition over the years (stomach issues are #1 from stress, eyes, back, heart), has broken family or lives alone since no spouse will deal with the constant mood swings. I won't exclude myself here.

You really, really have to be lucky to do this for more than 10 years without serious sacrifices.
Compared to the life of a ballerina this is still a cakewalk but you definitely won't make mid 6 figures a year as a trader and be home at 5 to play with your kids either.

Edit: Of course it helps when your networth is 8 figures and you dabble with swing trades so you can flex in front of your golf buddies.
But pushing it means grinding it out daily. If you are bored while trading, you're not pushing yourself hard enough and soon someone else will take your cake.
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So brutal. Thank you for the post.
 
zghorner said:
i am a mellow dude, pretty much stay calm and stick to The Middle Way most of the time...but i have an issue controlling my emotions when trading. When I am up big i get too excited even a touch of "the swelled head", when i am down big i become grumpy and intolerable to be around. I know that this is not the correct way to live and not good for my health nor is it fair to my family. It is also embarrassing to admit as i know it is a sure sign of immaturity.

What are some things that have helped you tame your emotions? I think a major issue i have is taking a subjective view of my positions vs being objective. Its like a cannot help but to value my opinion on what should happen more so than what is actually happening. I guess this might be why so many prefer automated trading systems?

I meditate almost daily, do yoga several times a week with my wife, sex almost every day, and lift hard several times a week which all help and give an instant calming effect but it is still not enough when the losses stack up. so far it seems that the market can stay irrational for longer than i can keep from freaking out and smashing my computer with a ball peen hammer.

Would like some open discussion, tips, tricks, all that stuff.

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I had same issue aa you but slightly different in the sense for me it wasn't people that notice my highs and lows but i myself and my energy and i cant stop thinking or blaming myself on the low and excited on the high, but when i turned systematic, immediately all the problems evaporated and went away and there is hardly any emotions involved. I dont know your style but mine is swing trading thus i am able to skip days of watching the markets considering my trades are a month long on average

but certain ways you can help is also systemize your position size to be always the same in dollar value so that there is no large gain or small gain on one particular trade, if you can systemize the whole trading even better because then you can always evaluate the system as a whole and a losing trade doesn't shake you

for myself i systemized to the point sometimes friend ask what price did u get in at and i tell them i dont know i got to see a chart which i truly do NOT because its based on the chart pattern and visual rather than a price level and a number which you can get emotional too

also if you can systemize and your system can trade anything or many instruments the same it helps to trade instruments your not emotional too, specially for myself when it comes to shorting, for example i rarely can get myself to short crude oil, why i dont know, probably emotional, but i can short many other things without a bit of emotions, at the end i tell myself why does it matter what i make my money off of?
 
Scataphagos said:
It's all about discipline... doing what you KNOW you (probably) should... in spite of how uncomfortable it makes you feel.
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your telling him do what you know no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel when his whole thread is about how he feels, lolz
 
Scataphagos said:
If you don't KNOW why you should PROBABLY make a play, then you've got work to do before risking capital.

If you make an intelligent play and it goes wrong... that's what stops are for. Making an intelligent play that doesn't work out is not the same as "making a dumb play and hoping you 'get a break' and somehow it works out in your favor". (Unfortunately, even the dumb play works out favorably sometimes... which reinforces "hope".)

Discipline in trading is a BIG, B-I-G thing. Sounds simple. Difficult to execute well.
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Why should someone know the why??
Why is this and that going up? Does it matter really? Isn't what matters where its going rather than why?
 
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