IMAO: Redistribution
Joe the Plumber was busy working under a kitchen sink, which is why he didnât hear someone come up behind him. He was slammed in the back with a pipe wrench, leaving him crying in pain as he looked up at his attacker: Barack Obama.
âYou made one mistake, Joe,â Obama said. âYou made too much money.â
âIâm just trying to expand my business.â Joe lay on the floor, clutching his back. âI was just hoping toââ
Obama kicked him. âI donât care! Itâs my money now! Give it to me!â
Joe pulled out his wallet and Obama greedily snatched it away and looked through it. He then kicked Joe again. âThereâs not enough in there!â
âWhatâs going on?â The owner of the house stood at the kitchenâs door, looking shocked at the scene in front of her.
âThis doesnât concern you!â Obama shouted at her.
âShould I call the police?â she asked.
Obama ripped the kitchen phone out of the wall. âYouâre not calling anyone, bitch! Now what were you going to pay him?â
âHey, leave her alone!â Joe pleaded. âThis is about me!â
âShut the @#$% up!â Obama shouted back. He then waved his pipe wrench at the woman. âWrite the check out to me! Do it! Do it now!â
The woman broke down crying as she pulled out her checkbook.
Obama walked back over to Joe. âThis is why I have nothing but disdain for women.â
âWhat do you want?â Joe asked desperately.
âI just want to help everybody, Joe.â Obama knelt down and smiled. âJust trying to spread the wealth around. But @#$% like you got to make this difficult. Hereâs what youâre going to do. Youâre going to take your cell phone, call your banks, and wire $40,000 to me. If you donât, Iâm going to raise your taxes even more by making you lose your Child Tax Credit. And know how Iâm going to do that? BY @#$% KILLING YOUR FAMILY!!!!â
The screen turned off and Obama turned to the press. âAnd that was the dramatization of my new tax plan. Any questions?â
âWhy are you so awesome?â a reporter squealed with glee.
âItâs hard.â Obama bowed his head sadly. âEspecially when FOX News allows critical things about me to be said.â
âAwww, poor Obama,â the press said. âEveryone is against him.â
âLetâs only write positive things about him and negative things about McCain!â one reporter said.
Another reporter looked confused. âUm⦠I thought we were already doing that.â
