Marriage, just don't

Quote from loza:

kids need a FATHER and a MOTHER for a role model - if the poor child goes to school as a BASTARD his/her self-esteem will suffer. Sadly a family is not PC is the USA, but trust me, for a girl a father is more important than having a guy around. Grant you instead of a "marriage" you can have an family LLC but that is rare. What is more common is guys shacking up making babies and split, leaving a poor kid around to be raised by a single parent or often by grandparents. This sadly happens in all economic strata or ethnicity.
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Oh, lets find everyones "inner child" and kick its little ass. !!,,

come on, this argument doesnt hold water anymore. You think its better for a daughter to see her parents fight for 17years. Than having her mom be "independant" with a chance of finding a good man. Once the mother drops her dumb ass behavior that made her first husband want to leave her.

growth strength, not dependancy.

EF
 
Well this goes back to picking a woman carefully and taking your time and family input. I agree with you that often divorce is better than bitter fighting for 20 years like my parents did but at the same time, this prolifiration of the dysfunctional family life in the USA is cause of much mental illness and drug/alcohol abuse. A teen or pre-teen suffers either way. They need stability and harmony at home. This includes both parents to be around.
Quote from Eddiefl:

Oh, lets find everyones "inner child" and kick its little ass. !!,,

come on, this argument doesnt hold water anymore. You think its better for a daughter to see her parents fight for 17years. Than having her mom be "independant" with a chance of finding a good man. Once the mother drops her dumb ass behavior that made her first husband want to leave her.

growth strength, not dependancy.

EF
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Before you tie yourself into a knot just think of these wise words:-

NEVER marry the girl you love because she will break your heart, your bank account and then reduce you to a blubbering slave or dump you if she can't

Marry a homely sort to look after the kids, the house and is always happy to see you. Then you find the MOST wonderful girl in the world to be your lover. When the shine wears off you can toss her out and look around for the latest model you can afford to replace her.

It's just that some girls are made differently - you won't get a racehorse to pull the family cart very far, now will you ?
 
Quote from loza:

Well this goes back to picking a woman carefully and taking your time and family input. I agree with you that often divorce is better than bitter fighting for 20 years like my parents did but at the same time, this prolifiration of the dysfunctional family life in the USA is cause of much mental illness and drug/alcohol abuse. A teen or pre-teen suffers either way. They need stability and harmony at home. This includes both parents to be around.
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I agree with what your saying. We just are on different lanes of the highway.

yes best case is personal development, then you know your true self. find a great partner and have a full family and stay together.

Second best, if people grow apart, which happens naturally and shouldnt be a "he said, she said" thing, it just happens. Dont stay together for the kids. Kids will mimic parents relationship later, unless they put effort to be different than thier parents.

As you say, picking the right spouse from the start, saves much problems down the road.
 
Quote from Humpy:

Before you tie yourself into a knot just think of these wise words:-

NEVER marry the girl you love because she will break your heart, your bank account and then reduce you to a blubbering slave or dump you if she can't

Marry a homely sort to look after the kids, the house and is always happy to see you. Then you find the MOST wonderful girl in the world to be your lover. When the shine wears off you can toss her out and look around for the latest model you can afford to replace her.

It's just that some girls are made differently - you won't get a racehorse to pull the family cart very far, now will you ?
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Thats too cynical, fantasy land stuff.

"never marry a girl you love, because she will break yuor heart",,,

dude get over, go get a drink, go to Vegas, move on will ya. She moved on a long time ago.

EF
 
Don't even talk about tieing a knot...............in this day and age one should not be willing to even move in together as after 6 months it is treated as nearly a marriage then she can get half or more of what you have. check the local state laws etc.


women of today's world mostly deserve BASTARD type of men. the more bastards they fall prey to the louder they cry and squeal and then society gives them more rights to become bigger bitches.

once this cycle of empowerment and bitch making is broken then some sense will return to the social mindset and institution called marriage.

just change the 'gal to ride' every six months and be happy.

:D :p :cool:
 
Quote from toc:

Don't even talk about tieing a knot...............in this day and age one should not be willing to even move in together as after 6 months it is treated as nearly a marriage then she can get half or more of what you have. check the local state laws etc.
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For cohabitation to reach this point, I think both parties have to hold themselves out to be married or basically at a similar point. Not just a LTR. But your overall point is well put. Never get serious unless the gal is marriage material, which is and should be a high standard. I've never had a gal move in as of yet. Loss of independence and control. And you've got to remember that if you do break up, it's almost the same as a divorce because she's at your place and it'll be messy.
 
Women are a market. The good ones command a high bid and will be married fast. If you come across a never married 35 yr old, then never marry her. It is reasonable to try and pick up a good model who had a bad first husband, but beware of damage and remember that stepfamilies are even harder than marriage!.

I first married young and had a kid, I like the kid part a lot and am very grateful for it.

It is statistically unreasonable to expect that everyone can have a good woman, so my fellow men, embrace your quiet desperation and appreciate that there is so much more to this interesting universe than women.
 
Quote from Mav88:

Women are a market. The good ones command a high bid and will be married fast. If you come across a never married 35 yr old, then never marry her. It is reasonable to try and pick up a good model who had a bad first husband, but beware of damage and remember that stepfamilies are even harder than marriage!.

I first married young and had a kid, I like the kid part a lot and am very grateful for it.

It is statistically unreasonable to expect that everyone can have a good woman, so my fellow men, embrace your quiet desperation and appreciate that there is so much more to this interesting universe than women.
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Top comment, especially about step families (hers mainly).
Yessir, they are just part of it, although some will try to make you" think" they are centerfocus, which is part of the deception.
 
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