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Quote from howellpar:

The Curse of being a Jewish President ..."
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It was his inauguration day, and the first Jewish President of the United States is ready to take the oath of office in front of millions of people all around the globe. Just then, a well dressed elderly woman in the first row, just a few feet away from the leader of the free world, leans over to her neighbor and whispers: "You know, my OTHER son is a doctor...!!"

:) :) :)
 
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The
turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck
by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in
the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells,
"Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.They
all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a man from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome:
tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk
slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.One button at a time.No one
moves.He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest .She gasps and
he whispers,"Iron this...and then get me a beer."
 
Lovely Funeral

One of the city's top Cardiac Specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.

Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter. Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "This is a funeral, Mister, why are you laughing?"

"I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied while continuing to chuckle and grin ear-to-ear. "I'm a gynaecologist!!"...

:) :) :)
 
History Of Military Uniform Colors

We should remember the origins, history and tradition of the uniforms worn with pride by militaries around the world.

For example, a long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English colonel. Taking him to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the colonel informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats are so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day to this, all French Army officers wear brown pants.
 
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside
Washington, D.C. as part of his campaign. Bush's campaign manager made a
visit to the Bishop, and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad
publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research
and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if
during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."

The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is
in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug today and as the sermon
progresses the Bishop begins his homily: "George Bush is petty, a
self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a
low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the
gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a
banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and
money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst
example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to Dick
Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."
 
I understand it must hurt a whole lot that GWB has beaten your sorry liberal butt several times (strong economy, strong defense, moral values, clean living, etc) and you just try to find something, whatever, real or imaginary, to throw at him... I get it, no problemo, and I feel for you my desperate democrat friends!! :D
 
Quote from JWS11:

I understand it must hurt a whole lot that GWB has beaten your sorry liberal butt several times (strong economy, strong defense, moral values, clean living, etc) and you just try to find something, whatever, real or imaginary, to throw at him... I get it, no problemo, and I feel for you my desperate democrat friends!! :D
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Good one JWS! I see you have a fine sense of irony.

:D

bt
 
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