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Interesting Psychological Fact

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where
she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features. However,if she is menstruating, or menopausal,
she tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat
jammed up his tail while he is on fire.

Further studies in this area have been cancelled
 
The Pun's The Thing:

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts;in feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down
under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint
yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a
mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
 
"A cheerful heart is good medicine" (Prov. 17:22a)

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card and wrote: "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message: "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

:) :) :)
 
Medical Wisdom

There was a man who went to his doctor and expressed the following concern:

"Doc, I'm really worried. Every time I drink a cup of coffee, I feel a stabbing pain in my eye. Do you think it's serious?"

To which the doctor replied, "No, not really. First, just try taking the spoon out of your cup!"

:) :) :)
 
British Pet Peeve

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.

Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet, "Your hamster is dead".

Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.

Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be £1000, please". "A £1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead?" fumes the man.

"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan!"

:) :) :)
 
Are We Progressing Towards A UseLESS Existence?

1. Our communication - Wireless
2. Our business - Cashless
3. Our telephone - Cordless
4. Our food - Fatless
5. Our cooking - Fireless
6. Our media - Creedless
7. Our public speech - Godless
8. Our politics - Shameless
9. Our leaders' lies - Countless
10. Our arguments - Baseless
11. Our policy - Aimless
12. Our youth - Jobless
13. Our bosses - Hopeless
14. Our salary - Very less
15. Our education - Valueless
16. Our labor - Effortless
17. Our conduct - Worthless
18. Our relationships - Loveless
19. Our attitude - Careless
20. Our feelings - Heartless
21. Our confidence: Much Less
22. Our life - Meaningless
23. Our existence - Useless (?)

:) :) :)
 
Typical...

A very Beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a very tall building and she falls down.

On her way falling down, an American man catches her,
She says: 'Oh thank you,you saved my life; I'll do ANYTHING for you...

'The man says: 'Okay then, sleep with me.'
She says: 'You PIG!! NEVER!!' So he says:'FINE!' and he drops her down....

So she's falling and screaming... Suddenly a German man catches her in the airfrom his balcony. She says:'Oh thank you, you saved me; I'll do anything that you ask...'
The guy says:'Fraulein, sleep with me.'

She replies: 'Oh you nasty pig!!! NEVER!' So the man says: 'Fine!!!' and he also drops her down again.

She's falling and thinking that it was better if she slept with one of those men and now she's going to die.

Suddenly, an Arab catches the woman from his balcony.
She says: 'Oh thank you, you saved my life, I'll SLEEP with you!!'

The man replies: 'Astaghfar Allah!' And he too drops her...

:D
 
for myself, #'s 22 & 23 are not so dependent on the others.

Quote from Yannis:

Are We Progressing Towards A UseLESS Existence?

1. Our communication - Wireless
2. Our business - Cashless
3. Our telephone - Cordless
4. Our food - Fatless
5. Our cooking - Fireless
6. Our media - Creedless
7. Our public speech - Godless
8. Our politics - Shameless
9. Our leaders' lies - Countless
10. Our arguments - Baseless
11. Our policy - Aimless
12. Our youth - Jobless
13. Our bosses - Hopeless
14. Our salary - Very less
15. Our education - Valueless
16. Our labor - Effortless
17. Our conduct - Worthless
18. Our relationships - Loveless
19. Our attitude - Careless
20. Our feelings - Heartless
21. Our confidence: Much Less
22. Our life - Meaningless
23. Our existence - Useless (?)

:) :) :)
More...
 
Did you know that Palestine entered the figure skating competition in Torino?

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