Jokes 2

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!
In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
"We missed the R!
We missed the R
We missed the bloody R !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,
"The word was ...

CELEB R ATE!"
 
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It had been snowing all night. So:

8:00 am I made a snowman with my wife's blonde wig on top.

8.05 Two guys nearly did me over, saying I was a Trump hater. Republicans I guess.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous
chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot
nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The area equality officer arrived and threatened me with
eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the NBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and I am now called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe
sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by
social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.


Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get worse.
__________________
Know your L I M I T A T I O N S
 
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

FYI: Not my wife, this is somebody's post. :D
 
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