Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
This could be real, apple fans may take a turd...
If you're the kind of guy who eats alphabet soup and chokes on the D, you need to hear this. Feel the roid rage. Epic.
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit”, St. Peter asked ?
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon agang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Couple of minutes ago.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit”, St. Peter asked ?
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon agang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Couple of minutes ago.
So tragic
Psychiatrist vs Bartender
As a child, I always had a fear of someone under the bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink…. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.” “How much do you charge?” “One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.”
As a child, I always had a fear of someone under the bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink…. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.” “How much do you charge?” “One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.”
