Jokes 2

My mom sat me down and said, "Son, I have something pretty important to tell you, you know your biology teacher..."

I interrupted, "Yeah, you're fucking him."

She asked, "How did you know?"

"Because the sex education tape he uses has our living room in it."
 
I saw a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.

He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you."

"No problem." I smiled.

He looked at me again and said, "It's empty."

I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."
 
I was waiting outside a toilet at a party. When after a long while the guy came out and said, "Jesus, I wouldn't go in there if I were you!"

I said, "Why's that?"

He said, "Er...because there's spiders all over the ceiling. Dumbass."

I went in there and saw no spiders at all, it just smelled like shit.
 
Quote from fhl:

The USA should invade the USA and win the hearts and minds of the people by fixing up the country.
More...

:D

You have to admit, there's plenty of potential.
 
I always feel like laughing,when I tell my wife that my favorite piece of equipment in the local gym is the exercise bike.

No-one calls her that to her face,though.
 
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