Jokes 2

My Grandmother once told me:

"If you want to be successful in life, forget about it, because you're a retard."

I'm not sure what she meant by that, but I'm pretty sure it's good advice.
 
Gov of NJ


“Now, do you really think that your child is now stressed out and unable to learn because they know that their poor teacher has to pay 1½ percent of their salary for their health care benefits? Have any of your children come home — any of them — and said, ‘Mom.’ ” Pause. “ ‘Dad.’ ” Another pause. “ ‘


......“ ‘Just pay for my teacher’s health benefits,’ ”

“ ‘and I’ll get A’s, I swear.

But I just cannot take the stress that’s being presented by a 1½ percent contribution to health benefits.’
 
Quote from Yannis:

You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman

...and here is one more giggle.

Here's the latest Obama bumper sticker:
"If Obama is the answer...just how stupid WAS that question?"

:) :) :)
More...

Once in a while I click back a hundred pages for a laugh.

My sides are still hurting.

Thanks!
 
Enjoy,

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dm0b56g4yjI?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dm0b56g4yjI?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
 
Sent to me by my loving wife:

GREAT WOMAN'S ASS SIZE STUDY... There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses... the results were pretty interesting. 30% of women think their ass is too fat. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny. The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
 
A skunk, a duck and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few hours and many drinks the bartender comes over to them and says "You all are three sheets to the wind and its closing time, its time to pay up the tab". The skunk looks at the bartender and says, "I'm afraid I can't, I only have one scent". The duck looks at the bartender and says, "Don't look at me, I only have one bill". The giraffe looks at the bartender and says, "I guess the high-balls are on me".
 
Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.


Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top