Jokes 2

"'Psychic Wins Lottery' wouldn't mean shit.

I personally am waiting for the headline that says: 'Psychic asked to stop buying lottery tickets'."
 
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat – especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
 
My wife was talking to our 16 year old son in his bedroom, when I suddenly heard her say, " You're fucking Dorothy!"

I sat back and thought 'thats my boy' and filled my head with images of what his girlfriend would look like. A few moments later she walked into the room and said. " You know the school is doing the Wizard of Oz this year?"

I was about to reply that I did and that I thought it was great if our son had got himself a girlfriend but never got a chance when I saw him standing in the doorway in a blue dress and his hair in pigtails.

I screamed, "You're fucking Dorothy!"
 
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