Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Too long and complicated for me. I'm short on memory and time.
How can you tell when a woman climaxes?
Who cares?
How many men does it take to clean a toilet?
0. It's a woman's job.
Woman goes into a sex shop looking for a dildo. She sees a monster in stainless steel, just glistening it 's polished so fine. She wants it. The clerk won't sell it, but the woman insists.
Guy goes home, his wife asks how his day was. He says, "pretty slow. Then, I sell this broad my thermos for five large.........."
Blond cop pulls over a blond speeder. " You were speeding. show me your license. " "What's that"? says our heroine. Cop says "should be in your wallet. It's, oh-so big, has your picture on it."
Blondie fumbles through her wallet, sees her reflection in the compact mirror she carries, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, says, "Oh, I didn't know you were a cop. You can go."
mmmmmmm oh. Naked broad climbs in a taxi. Cabbie looks in the mirror. "Lady. How you gonna pay me? I can see you ain't got no money."
She spreads her legs, and gesters in the general direction of her pubic mound
Cabbie says, "got anything smaller?"
How can you tell when a woman climaxes?
Who cares?
How many men does it take to clean a toilet?
0. It's a woman's job.
Woman goes into a sex shop looking for a dildo. She sees a monster in stainless steel, just glistening it 's polished so fine. She wants it. The clerk won't sell it, but the woman insists.
Guy goes home, his wife asks how his day was. He says, "pretty slow. Then, I sell this broad my thermos for five large.........."
Blond cop pulls over a blond speeder. " You were speeding. show me your license. " "What's that"? says our heroine. Cop says "should be in your wallet. It's, oh-so big, has your picture on it."
Blondie fumbles through her wallet, sees her reflection in the compact mirror she carries, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, says, "Oh, I didn't know you were a cop. You can go."
mmmmmmm oh. Naked broad climbs in a taxi. Cabbie looks in the mirror. "Lady. How you gonna pay me? I can see you ain't got no money."
She spreads her legs, and gesters in the general direction of her pubic mound
Cabbie says, "got anything smaller?"
Awesome posts people.
Here's something worth looking at. I just did the first one (LAX) full screen with sound cranking and it rocked. http://www.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/02/09/cockpit.view.videos.youtube/index.html?hpt=C2
Here's something worth looking at. I just did the first one (LAX) full screen with sound cranking and it rocked. http://www.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/02/09/cockpit.view.videos.youtube/index.html?hpt=C2
Sobering information...
Doctors
A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is
700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are
120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is
0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health and Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is
80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is
1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is
.0000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT
Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends to this
alarming threat.
We must ban doctors
before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Out of concern for the public at large,
We withheld the statistics on
Lawyers
for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention!
Doctors
A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is
700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are
120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is
0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health and Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is
80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is
1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is
.0000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT
Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends to this
alarming threat.
We must ban doctors
before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Out of concern for the public at large,
We withheld the statistics on
Lawyers
for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention!
