Jokes 2

Star Wars Talk For Kids

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:) :) :)
 
My wife asked me how many women I had slept with.

I told her that she was the only one, all the others had kept me awake all night screwing.
 
Quote from Yannis:

200 Years*200 Countries: The Joy Of Stats

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:)
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Very informative post.:)
 
A prison guard goes into Stosh's cell to find him hanging from his feet.

He asks what are you doing Wally (the gaurd has Alzheimers).

I'm commiting suicide says Paddy (Nutmeg has Alzheimers too)
.

Your supposed to have the rope around you neck the prison guard tells him.

I tried that says Stosh but i couldn't breath.
 
A grad student at the University of Kentucky has a research project that requires him to access rare documents available only at the Harvard University library. So he catches a plane to Boston, takes a bus to the Harvard campus and stops the first student he meets.

“Excuse me, sir, could you please tell me where the library’s at?”

“At Harvard University, we don’t end our sentences with prepositions.”

“All right,” says the Kentuckian. “Then could you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”
 
Quote from fhl:

A grad student at the University of Kentucky has a research project that requires him to access rare documents available only at the Harvard University library. So he catches a plane to Boston, takes a bus to the Harvard campus and stops the first student he meets.

“Excuse me, sir, could you please tell me where the library’s at?”

“At Harvard University, we don’t end our sentences with prepositions.”

“All right,” says the Kentuckian. “Then could you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”
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That's a classic, always cracks me up. And that's despite the fact that the Harvard guy would have told me to slow down. And take it back.

Which reminds me another, related, classic: the Harvard linguistics professor is explaining that although two negatives most often make a positive, two positives never make a negative. To which a smart guy from way back responds: "Yeah, right!"

:) :) :)
 
Back when I went to Harvard, I was sleeping in English class one day. The prof called out "TGregg, quick, give me two pronouns!"

"Who, me?"
 
Quote from TGregg:

Back when I went to Harvard, I was sleeping in English class one day. The prof called out "TGregg, quick, give me two pronouns!"

"Who, me?"
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I wonder if "me two" would qualify... :)
 
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