Jokes 2

When America first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, America engaged the top scientists from Ivy League schools and spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.
 
Here's another one:

If you visit Thomas Jefferson's Monticello, near Charlottesville, VA, you'll see many of his ingenious inventions. One of the most striking is a metallic device, made of more than
100 finely crafted minute parts, that duplicates a person's writings: You place your hand in a glove-like receptacle and write on a piece of paper, while all those parts move a pen to make an exact duplicate on a page situated right adjacent to the device. Really marvellous. It would have sold for quite a lot of money (since for the first time people could have exact copies of whatever they wrote)... except for those &&^^%%** Europeans (eg, Wedgwood, Turri, et al) who, at the same time, circa 1806, invented carbon paper...

:) :) :)
 
ObamaCare

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:) :) :)
 

Attachments

A couple threads currently on Market "Tops"

1) Is S&P forming intermediate term double top?
2) s$p to "blow past upper-end resistance"
3) Triple Top


Currently the market will form a top

When...

(drum roll)........

GM gets to $35 ahahahahahahaha

:D :D :D

All the bagholders will breath a sigh of relief if they bought at the open on the first day of trading.
 
Good Advice

Joe was having great difficulty getting along with his wife – nothing but arguing and friction – so he finally decided to consult a marriage counselor. After they had talked for a while, the counselor said, “I suggest that you run five miles each day for a month. Then please call me back.”

A month later the counselor received a call from Joe. “Well, how are things going with you and your wife?

“How should I know? I’m 150 miles away!...”

:) :) :)
 
I had several bosses like this...

Feeling it was time for a shake-up, the company hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant Business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"

The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his quick, decisive action to set a new tone of accountability; the CEO looked at his staff and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?"

From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

:) :) :)
 
Dementia is no laughing matter... but seeing the surprised look on grandpa's face every 9 mins when the news repeats,
absolutely priceless
 
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