Jokes 2

During dinner my son had hardly touched his plate and the wife said, "Think of the poor children in Africa, Kyle"

He said back to her, "Do they have to eat this shit too?"
 
My girlfriend is always coming out with these hilarious one-liners.

Like the other night, after she finished performing oral sex on me, she said "Now do me."
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I won the Lottery last night.

I haven't told the wife yet, I can't use my phone on the plane.
More...

Last week I won the lottery. Went home and told Mrs. TGregg and said she should pack her bags.

"Should I pack shorts or jeans?" She asked.

"I don't care, just get the heck out of here," I said.
 
Oldie but goodie:

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I was asked to descibe my life in a nut shell.

"Well, it's very dark and cramped."

stay tuned...

It was a dark and stormy night................:D
 
I went to take a leak at work today and as I was about to walk out, a colleague said "Oi aren't you going to wash your hands?!"

I said "No, I washed my cock this morning, should be good for the day."
 
What does it say on the bottom of a bottle of Kronenbourg Beer?

Open at other end.


(Kronenbourg Beer is brewed in France)
 
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