J'aime Les Francais - Deux!
Q. How many frenchman does it take to gaurd Paris?
A. Nobody knows, its never been tried before
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
Why do frenchmen always wear yellow ties?
A. to match their teeth
Whats the best place to hide your money?
A. under the soap of a frenchman
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q. Why do French men have moustashes?
A. To remind them of their mothers.
Q. How do you brainwash a Frenchman?
A. Fill up his boots with water
Q. Is it rude to call a Frenchman a frog?
A. Yes, it is unfair to amphibians.
Q. Why do the French cook with lots of garlic?
A. To improve their breath.
Q. Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A. He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
Q. Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
A. So you can see their white flags better.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking and the Germans to lovemaking
You really do have to hand it to the French...After all, they won't fight for it.
Q. What happens when a Frenchman doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A. They stop delivering.
Q. How do you ruin a French party?
A. Flush the punch bowl.
Q. Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis?
A. He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.
Q. What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q. Did you hear about the French helicopter crash?
A. The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q. How do you break a Frenchman's finger?
A. Hit him on the nose.
Q. How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub?
A. Throw in a bar of soap.
Q. What does it say on the bottom of a Perrier bottle in France?
A. Open other end.
Q. Did you hear about the French hockey team?
A. They all drowned in spring training.
Q. Did you hear about the new automatic French parachutes?
A. They open on impact.
Q. Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A. Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
Q. What did France used to be called?
A. Germany, and then we saved them.
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
A. The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
Q. What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians at the Pentagon.
A. The Axis of Weasels.
Q.The American military wears combat boots. What does the French military wear?
A. Track shoes.
Q. How do you sink a French battleship?
A. Put it in water.
Q. Did you hear bout the French Kamikaze?
A. He flew 30 successful missions.
A French firing squad stands in a circle, then surrenders.
Q. How many frenchman does it take to gaurd Paris?
A. Nobody knows, its never been tried before
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
Why do frenchmen always wear yellow ties?
A. to match their teeth
Whats the best place to hide your money?
A. under the soap of a frenchman
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q. Why do French men have moustashes?
A. To remind them of their mothers.
Q. How do you brainwash a Frenchman?
A. Fill up his boots with water
Q. Is it rude to call a Frenchman a frog?
A. Yes, it is unfair to amphibians.
Q. Why do the French cook with lots of garlic?
A. To improve their breath.
Q. Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A. He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
Q. Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
A. So you can see their white flags better.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking and the Germans to lovemaking
You really do have to hand it to the French...After all, they won't fight for it.
Q. What happens when a Frenchman doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A. They stop delivering.
Q. How do you ruin a French party?
A. Flush the punch bowl.
Q. Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis?
A. He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.
Q. What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q. Did you hear about the French helicopter crash?
A. The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q. How do you break a Frenchman's finger?
A. Hit him on the nose.
Q. How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub?
A. Throw in a bar of soap.
Q. What does it say on the bottom of a Perrier bottle in France?
A. Open other end.
Q. Did you hear about the French hockey team?
A. They all drowned in spring training.
Q. Did you hear about the new automatic French parachutes?
A. They open on impact.
Q. Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A. Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
Q. What did France used to be called?
A. Germany, and then we saved them.
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
A. The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
Q. What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians at the Pentagon.
A. The Axis of Weasels.
Q.The American military wears combat boots. What does the French military wear?
A. Track shoes.
Q. How do you sink a French battleship?
A. Put it in water.
Q. Did you hear bout the French Kamikaze?
A. He flew 30 successful missions.
A French firing squad stands in a circle, then surrenders.
