Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Back in the ole days when there was a trading floor
Two traders are on the floor when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Two traders are on the floor when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
A woman goes to visit with her son for a few days. Her son is living with his friend -they are gay, but desperate not to have her find out. The visit goes well, they go out and about and have lots of fun and laughs.
Anyhow, the day of departure arrives and Mom heads off back home.
About a week later. The son notices the copper-bottomed skillet which his Mom had commented upon so favourably was missing. In a state of anguish they search the apartment to try and find the missing skillet, to come to the only possible conclusion â his Mom had stolen it!
With great sadness he wrote to his Mom:-
âHi Mom, hope you had a great time, we sure enjoyed having you here. One small thing. The copper-bottomed skillet which you liked so much, well, itâs missing.
Now, Iâm not saying you stole it and Iâm not saying you didnât. But nobody else has been in the apartment since you left.
Love, Your Sonâ.
About a week later he gets a letter back.
âDear Son, I had a great time and really enjoyed the visit. You and your friend get along together so well. Really, very, very well indeed.
Now, Iâm not saying youâre gay and Iâm saying youâre not gay. But had you slept in your own bed since I left you would have found where I hid the skillet.
Love, Momâ
Anyhow, the day of departure arrives and Mom heads off back home.
About a week later. The son notices the copper-bottomed skillet which his Mom had commented upon so favourably was missing. In a state of anguish they search the apartment to try and find the missing skillet, to come to the only possible conclusion â his Mom had stolen it!
With great sadness he wrote to his Mom:-
âHi Mom, hope you had a great time, we sure enjoyed having you here. One small thing. The copper-bottomed skillet which you liked so much, well, itâs missing.
Now, Iâm not saying you stole it and Iâm not saying you didnât. But nobody else has been in the apartment since you left.
Love, Your Sonâ.
About a week later he gets a letter back.
âDear Son, I had a great time and really enjoyed the visit. You and your friend get along together so well. Really, very, very well indeed.
Now, Iâm not saying youâre gay and Iâm saying youâre not gay. But had you slept in your own bed since I left you would have found where I hid the skillet.
Love, Momâ
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc......I called a hotline
Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.........................
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.........................
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
We're the first generation of old people bitching that the young are so lame. Look at these kids ......
These pussies just drink Red Bull and go on the patio to smoke.
The closest they've come to a fist fight is in a chatroom. "You looking at my girlfriend? Well I'm going to delete you from my MySpace friends list".
These pussies just drink Red Bull and go on the patio to smoke.
The closest they've come to a fist fight is in a chatroom. "You looking at my girlfriend? Well I'm going to delete you from my MySpace friends list".