Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Wife's Night Out
Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....
You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports and play on the
Internet all night...
You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to
have
a monster hangover....
You wake up the next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which
she
used last night.....
You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....
You circle the car looking for dents and find none....
But ..... wait....
Wait just a damn minute...
Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....
You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports and play on the
Internet all night...
You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to
have
a monster hangover....
You wake up the next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which
she
used last night.....
You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....
You circle the car looking for dents and find none....
But ..... wait....
Wait just a damn minute...
Quote from Yannis:
He's talking about H2O too - aka H2O2
Which is basically heavily oxygenated water = hydrogen peroxide... weak acid, bleaching agent, rocket propellant, etc etc
Yeahhh... Got a few As in various kinds of Chemistry ~100 years ago
Oh righty
Except they used to spell 2 - two, but never mind
A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic, or metaphorical language.
May MJ rip.
Yesterday I heard that MJ had so many plastic surgeries they were thinking of cremating him to build a Lego so little kids can play with him for a change.
I know, cruel....but funny.
Yesterday I heard that MJ had so many plastic surgeries they were thinking of cremating him to build a Lego so little kids can play with him for a change.
I know, cruel....but funny.
A Human Horse
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy's strong, but he's both lazy and blind - and if he thought for a moment that he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try!"
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy's strong, but he's both lazy and blind - and if he thought for a moment that he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try!"