Jokes 2

[flytiger]

Quote from fhl:

I saw a woman in the laudramat I was attracted to and thought about trying to pick her up.

Then I thought, nah, if she can't even afford a washing machine, she'll never be able to support me.

Killed me
Http://www.instantrimshot.com

 

[flytiger]

Quote from AZheat70:

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town.

"I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.

"We got her," replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the beer bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled: "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said: "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.

"How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers before we get started."

What I love about these is, I've told this joke for twenty years (not to too many people, I might add), and when I told it, it was a Chief Petty Officer in WW II back from year long cruise, and it was a case beer. The punch line was "you want 'em opened, don't you?"

So, we know at least where it came from, and definitely it is a classic. Thanks for bringing it back to me, which shows you how messed up I am.

Oh course, the book end for this one is the hooker with the wooden eye who hooks up with the sailor. Anyone???

 

[TGregg]

Quote from flytiger:

Oh course, the book end for this one is the hooker with the wooden eye who hooks up with the sailor. Anyone???

While I wouldn't want to . . . err. . .out the punchline, I expect surely everybody has heard this one, right?

 

[nutmeg]

Ever had one of those e-mails about penis enlargements?

It's funny how they always know who to send it to.

 

[hoodooman]

Oh course, the book end for this one is the hooker with the wooden eye who hooks up with the sailor. Anyone???
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And that one goes with, "checking for bees".

 

[fhl]

I heard about this guy that's in a coma---he's living the dream.

 

[flytiger]

Quote from hoodooman:

Oh course, the book end for this one is the hooker with the wooden eye who hooks up with the sailor. Anyone???
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And that one goes with, "checking for bees".

Give. This one escapes me.


"out the punchline........"
http://www.instantrimshot.com

 

[hoodooman]

I already gave away the punch line.

 

[nutmeg]

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist
"do you sell extra large condoms?"

the pharmicist replies "yes we do"

to which the woman replies "ok, I will just wait for someone to buy them"

 

[nutmeg]

When I came home today, my wife said "I hope we don't need a new paper shredder".

The top of my paper shredder was upside down on top of my desk with a knife stuck in it.