Jokes 2

nutmeg · Dec 20, 2008

Re the market.

âThis is worse than a divorceâIâve lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife..â

nutmeg · Dec 20, 2008

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

nutmeg · Dec 20, 2008

After graduation from HS, mom asked about my future plans. "I said I'd like to go to college".

âWhat would you like to take when you go to college?â she asked.

I gave it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, I said, âThe refrigerator, if you can get along without it.â

nutmeg · Dec 20, 2008

nutmeg · Dec 20, 2008

Classic Roast beef recipe:

1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.

When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Humpy · Dec 21, 2008

Recently on a remote island in the Pacific a Japanese soldier was discovered who didn't know the war was over
On the same island an Irishman was discovered who didn't know it had even begun and a drunken Scotsman who wanted to start it all over again

Yannis · Dec 21, 2008

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green,

However, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Bobby, how many times have you see a red duck?"

To which, young Bobby replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella!"

Humpy · Dec 21, 2008

Q. from a crossword - what's often found at the bottom of birdcages ending in it ( 4 letters )

A. grit ( Anyone that thought of a word beginning with s - has a dirty mind and should do 10 press-ups as punishment )

nutmeg · Dec 21, 2008

This would make a nice Christmas gift. A new remote!

nutmeg · Dec 21, 2008