Jokes 2

A resident of New York visiting Chicago has just missed the last flight out at O'Hare and desperately needs to get back to New York. Money is
no object, so he hails a cab.
"Where you going?" the cabbie asks.
"New York," the customer replies.
"What?" the driver asks.
"Yeah," says the New Yorker. "How much to take me to Manhattan?"
The taxi driver pauses. He's never been to New York, so he quickly calculates a figure that will give him enough money to cover his time and
gas, and enough to spend some time enjoying the city. He finally says, "$3,000."

"You got it!" says the New Yorker.

The trip goes well. The cabbie loves New York -- Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, Radio City Music Hall. The day before he's ready to leave, he
figures he'll make a couple of bucks in New York by getting a few fares. A gentleman on a corner hails his cab and slides in.

"How much to take me to Chicago?" the gentleman asks.

The cabbie is shocked. An amazing twist of fate. "Chicago?" he says. "You want to go to Chicago?"
"Yes, sir," says the passenger. "How much?"
"One thousand dollars," says the cabbie. "But where exactly?"

The customer chimes up, "I want to go to the West Side."

Suddenly, the cabbie's joy turns to disappointment.

"Sorry, sir," he says. "You'll have to find another cab. I don't go to the West Side."
 
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is a crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a crackhead with big ears.
 
Joe Biden said Sarah Palin has a lot of style and charisma, but no substance. He made the remark after looking at his notes from eight months ago, scratching out "Barack Obama" and writing in the name "Sarah Palin" over it.
 
Quote from mgookin:

Stupid question: is there a Sears (retail store) at the Sears Tower?
More...
From what I know, no, not any more - but I understand that these days there's a Target in it :)
 
Q: Why do the French call their fighter jet the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.

Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.
 
Who is Jack Schitt?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top