Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
That kid getting chased by a rooster could have been me. I spent summers in northern mich and my uncle had a rooster that hated my guts. I would be walking around the house minding my own business and turn the corner and me and the rooster would meet face to face, I'd do a couple kicks like that kid and that rooster would attack. I would run like hell.
I used to go to the chicken coop at night and shine a flashlight in his eyes.
I used to go to the chicken coop at night and shine a flashlight in his eyes.
Girl meets boy. Girl is somewhat intelligent and she recognizes her boyfriend is a loser, no job, no prospects, petty druggie, fringe criminal elements, a bad boy. She needs some excitment in her life and he provides it. He can't get in her pants because he is hopeless piece of shit, he introduces her to drugs on a routine basis, gets laid. She blows off work, loses job, car, other meager assets. Hello, strip club.
Our town was so small the local hooker and the town virgin were the same girl.
------------------------------
What's up with the strippers with names like Porsche or Mercedes. I like the American brands. Girls with names like Dodge Aries K or Plymouth Sundance.
Hey, how about Belinda BigUns. There's a good name.
------------------------------
What's up with the strippers with names like Porsche or Mercedes. I like the American brands. Girls with names like Dodge Aries K or Plymouth Sundance.
Hey, how about Belinda BigUns. There's a good name.
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time."
Quote from Yannis:
Text Messages From/To College
- Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.
- Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.
Jonathan Winters circa 1955-1960 - still funny, LOL.
Don