Jokes 2

[nutmeg]

Ever notice when you're in line at an ATM how the person in front of

you is slower than you are when you do your transaction? From a

relativistic point of view you are slower than the

person in line behind you. And he is slower than the person behind him.

It's easy to see that the longer you extend the line the faster the

people get at their transactions. At some point, someone will punch

through the light barrier.

 

[sim03]

Quote from nutmeg:

From the files of Dr Stu Nata:

"So Nutmeg, what experiences have helped to define you as a person"

...

Wow. Damn funny, nutmeg... you've outdone yourself. Weird, wild stuff. Who needs those formulaic Writers Guild hacks?

So, if I accidentally copy a paragraph or six in my online personals ad, to reel in my next prey, I mean, to connect with my lifetime soulmate, where shall I send the royalty checks?

 

[nutmeg]

A Polish family is sitting in the living room.

The wife turns to the husband and says "Let's send the

kids out to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck.

 

[nutmeg]

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

 

[nutmeg]

Quote from sim03:

Wow. Damn funny, nutmeg... you've outdone yourself. Weird, wild stuff. Who needs those formulaic Writers Guild hacks?

So, if I accidentally copy a paragraph or six in my online personals ad, to reel in my next prey, I mean, to connect with my lifetime soulmate, where shall I send the royalty checks?

Creativity is from Mars, jacking shit off the net is from Venus. Help yourself.

 

[El OchoCinco]

Quote from Optionpro007:

Subtle, now we know where you sense of humor comes from....

Well lot of jokes I have heard before mixed in with some ramblings here which make no sense. We all can get behind a good poop joke...

 

[Optionpro007]

Quote from optioncoach:

Well lot of jokes I have heard before mixed in with some ramblings here which make no sense. We all can get behind a good poop joke...

next time I see a guy laughing histerically in a public bathroom...you know.....figure he must have read the same joke....

reminds me of reminiscences of a poop operator type of thingy....

 

[Tech Analysis]

Nothing like some good toilet humor, huh.

Something we all can relate to.

 

[flytiger]

No joke....................

<img src=http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1805351/>

 

[nutmeg]

A man walked into a 7-11, put a $20 bill on the

counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened

the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for

all the cash in the register, which the clerk

promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and

fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The

total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.00.


Question. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money,

was a crime committed?