Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Merry Christmas ET! Jeff Dunham and his friend Achmed the Dead Terrorist sings "Jingle Bombs":
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Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Everybody was stoned
Even the mouse
Girl from the whore house
And me from the jail
And i just setteled down
To get a piece of her tail
When all of a sudden
I heard such a clatter
I tripped on my dick
And busted my bladder!!
I went downstairs
And what did i see?!
A fat little red fagget
Hanging from a tree
He stuffed the stockings
With reefer and beer
And a big fat hairy dick
For the family queer
When all through the house
Everybody was stoned
Even the mouse
Girl from the whore house
And me from the jail
And i just setteled down
To get a piece of her tail
When all of a sudden
I heard such a clatter
I tripped on my dick
And busted my bladder!!
I went downstairs
And what did i see?!
A fat little red fagget
Hanging from a tree
He stuffed the stockings
With reefer and beer
And a big fat hairy dick
For the family queer
Three old ladies named Gertrude,
Maude, and Ruth were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.
The man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, opened his trench coat, and exposed himself.
Gertrude and Maude both had a stroke.
But Ruth, being older and feebler, bless her heart, couldn't reach that far.
Maude, and Ruth were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.
The man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, opened his trench coat, and exposed himself.
Gertrude and Maude both had a stroke.
But Ruth, being older and feebler, bless her heart, couldn't reach that far.
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense.
He didn?t want to go to jail.
But his lawyer told him, "Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right.
When the man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.
____________________________
p.s. sorry I can't find the apostrophe. Question marks look kinda of festive, tis the season.
He didn?t want to go to jail.
But his lawyer told him, "Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right.
When the man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.
____________________________
p.s. sorry I can't find the apostrophe. Question marks look kinda of festive, tis the season.
Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.
Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm
gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll
know what to do with.
- Santa
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.
Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm
gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll
know what to do with.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face.
You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and
some pepperoni.
-Santa
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face.
You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and
some pepperoni.
-Santa
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all
yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare
specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn
to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space
ranger, at least HE can spell!
-Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all
yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare
specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn
to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space
ranger, at least HE can spell!
-Santa