Jokes 2

Yeah, I have video of my girl pedaling her bike as fast as she could down our long dirt driveway. The dog, just a small schitzoo or something ran in front of her and the leash got caught in her pedals and the dog went flying about 10 feet attached to the leash had its tongue hanging out when it landed, the girl went over the handles bars and the bike landed on top of the dog. This kinda stuff happens everyday around here.
 
"This kinda stuff happens everyday around here."

Maybe in your mind, mister Dull boy nominee Nutmeg. Now go back to your microscope and tell me again which crystals are salt and which ones are sugar.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

"This kinda stuff happens everyday around here."

Maybe in your mind, mister Dull boy nominee Nutmeg. Now go back to your microscope and tell me again which crystals are salt and which ones are sugar.
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Remember "Police Squad", where the Mr. Wizard Lab guy tells Little Bobby to "run along. Now, next week, we'll investigate why women can't play professional football".
 
I saw my neighbor the other day. I said to him "Do you see what's going on over in Iraq?"

He says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I saw my neighbor the other day. I said to him "Do you see what's going on over in Iraq?"

He says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
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great Vaudeville stuff. When that joke was written it probably was "do you see what's going on in the Colonies?" If "Sugar Babies" every gets redone, go see it. a couple I remember from 25 years ago.

Did you hear about the window washer who was late getting to the third floor. He got a little behind on the second. Ba da bum.

We've got a prize here for the man who can remember the last thing his wife said before he fell asleep last night.

(plant in the audience raises his hand) You Sir.

"That ain't hard!!"

" We have a winner".

"See the blond waitress over there? I"m gettin' a little on the side"

"I didn't know they moved it."
 
See the Genworth commercial, if you laugh you'll live eight years longer?

Look at the ages of Berle, Marx, Marx, Marx, Hope, Benny Burns, Dangerfield. Just goes to show, if you're Jewish, you can cruise to 90.

Anyway, Groucho talked about his vaudeville days. There was a hooker in the Minneapolis - St. Paul area, and she would follow the comedians from city to city. The boys called her " The Tail ofTwo Cities".
 
There were 2 traders in the Big Apple.
One called Nutty and the other Flybuttons ( for reasons we won’t go into right now )

They were talking at the office party of a well known City Bank

I really really love money says Nutty

Is that so ?

Oh yes I have Asked for it
I have Begged for it
I have Cheated for it

Have you tried working for it ? says Flybuttons

Well not yet. You see I am working through the alphabet and haven’t got to W yet.

Thanks for all the laughs guys and have too much to drink for Xmas
( nothing poisonal you understand)
LOL
 
Quote from gaynproud:

What do you call a lesbian with thick fingers?

Well hung
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You started it.

New running shoe for Lesbians? Dikes.

Two lesbians built their own house. No nails. All tongue-and-groove.


Humpy. I'm stealling yours.
 
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