Back to School it was.
Sam Kinison: "SAY IT !! SAY IT!! Arrrggghhh!"
Sam Kinison: "SAY IT !! SAY IT!! Arrrggghhh!"
Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Lou: "Jason, c'mere . . . You were kinda hard on your dad last night. . . . I'm tough, but I'm fair. My two kids . .. one I put troo college and the other I put troo a wall. Your papa loves you, eh? Be nice to him."
I love Burt Young.
Lou: You got a problem?
Footballer: No, I ain't got any problem.
Lou: Now you do.
I love Burt Young.
Lou: You got a problem?
Footballer: No, I ain't got any problem.
Lou: Now you do.
A couple of aircraft jokes:
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver.
He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked
the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost."
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on
his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest, sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're
lost before you will."
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"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits
a 727?
OK Center, 2341, we are turning! We are turning!!
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver.
He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked
the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost."
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on
his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest, sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're
lost before you will."
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"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits
a 727?
OK Center, 2341, we are turning! We are turning!!
Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
"Well," answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically."
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, "do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?"
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "what is the difference?"
The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster."
To which the man responded, "How come everyone knew about this but me?"
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
"Well," answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically."
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, "do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?"
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "what is the difference?"
The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster."
To which the man responded, "How come everyone knew about this but me?"