Jokes 2

Went to a Chinese book store the other day, but couldn't find the book I wanted.

It was only on my way out I noticed that it was the Wong Foo Kin Book Store.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Went to a Chinese book store the other day, but couldn't find the book I wanted.

It was only on my way out I noticed that it was the Wong Foo Kin Book Store.
More...

I was just there! Bought a cookbook:

101 Ways to Wok Your Dog
 
Quote from TGregg:

From CNBC last night:

Honey I Shrunk the Subscriber Base.

:)
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Well you know, I agree with Cramer on this one. He made some good points.

Disclaimer: I don't listen to him and secondly I don't own Netflex
 
Southerners' Medical Dictionary

Now you have to try reading this with a Southern twang

Southerners have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously.
You are going to die anyway, so live life...... and don't worry so much.

Artery............................... The study of paintings
Bacteria.......................... Back door to the cafeteria
Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign........................... What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section......... A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty
Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her
Colic................................ A sheep dog
Coma.............................. A punctuation mark
Dilate............................... To live long
Enema........................... Not a friend
Fester............................ Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................ A small lie
Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid........................... A higher offer
Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates
Node.............................. I knew it
Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative............... A letter carrier
Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Dang near killed him
Secretion....................... Hiding something
Seizure.......................... Roman emperor
Tablet............................ A small table
Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport
Tumor........................... One plus one more
Urine.............................. Opposite of you're out

:) :) :)
 
The farmer had got out a mortgage, and gladly, to give it to his daughter for her college education.

Now, driving home from the station after meeting her at the train, farmer was greatly disturbed when his daughter whispered confidentially,

“I have a confession to make, Pa..............I ain’t a virgin no more.”

The old man shook his head sadly.


“After all the sacrifices your Ma and I made to give you a good education, you still say ‘ain’t!”
 
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Quote from astroid60:

“I have a confession to make, Pa..............IThe old man shook his head sadly.
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I hear ya, I know about those confessions.

My son told me he was gay with a straight face.

a hahahahaha :D
 
My wife has just text me:
'I hope you enjoyed the time with your friends in Vegas. Your suitcase is on the fucking doorstep!'

I thought to myself, "Well whose suitcase have I been wheeling around then?"
 
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